I know you already gave me money for my OTHER project, but this is the most important tweet I have ever sent. I can’t even hit “send tweet” without you. I need 18,000 people to send me 6 dollars so I can send this tweet.
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If 19,000 people send me 7 dollars, I will be able to keep on staff all the staff I already fired and even hire some staff from my other organizations that have fired people. I can’t unfire people I hired a year ago unless 20,000 people send me 8 dollars.
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Please read this entire tweet, ok? I spoke to several people who were shot by Canadian Mounties and they said they want me to start a fundraiser for my wife on their behalf. I can’t do this without you. I need 21,000 people to send me nine dollars in the next twelve minutes.
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There’s a hill in my backyard. It’s more of a mound, really, but Yelp rates it number 12 on the list of top 10 best hills in the western United States. If you send me $12 a day, I will begin a rigorous training program so I can think about maybe climbing this hill in 2024.
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This is Imani’s wife. I have taken over her account. You don’t know how hard she works. She works so hard that I don’t see her for weeks on end. Our cats are like, “Where’s mommy” and I tell them, “Mommy is a civil rights leader and doesn’t have time for your kitty bullshit.“
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This is Imani again. I have taken over my account because now my wife won’t stop crying. I need 22,000 people to send me ten dollars so she can get counseling for all this pain that you caused by tweeting mean things about me. You don’t know what it’s like being married to me.
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I’ve just launched a new patreon for a very special secret podcast. It’s called Married to this Fucking Guy. My wife is basically going to complain about me for an hour. I need 23,000 people to send me 11 dollars. And please don’t tell anyone. I’m going public with it in 2034.
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Replying to @AngryBlackLady
You forgot the part where you announced that you've decided to follow in the tradition of Harriet Tubman with the blessing of her descendants and reopen the Underground Railroad only now that's just the name of the paywalled section of your blog
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