Okay, uh. Fellow white people. Here's a list of times it's okay for us to call someone "Uncle Tom": - We're talking about Tom, who has a fraternal relationship to one of our parents. or - We're talking about Tom, an avuncular friend of the family who had a hand in raising us.
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The joke in The King and I about them doing a version of Uncle Tom's Cabin for the king's court with all the context stripped away ("The Small House of Uncle Thomas") kind of says it all
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It's true the story got bastardized in minstrel shows, but why would that matter today? Who outside of a nursing home has actually seen a racist, Jim Crow style minstrel show?
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It's where the term got its meaning originally, is why. Words tend to take on a life of their own once they're attached to a particular meaning in popular understanding.
End of conversation
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