REY: I didn't finish the training course because Kylo was touching the Vader helmet and breathing heavily PILOT: hi, the Falcon hasn't arrived. Also I'm gay, this movie should be about me CARRIE FISHER: if I could record more voice over, I would agree
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PILOT: Rey! Falcon's back! REY: Also you're gay PILOT: yes! In a more interesting movie I would replace you REY: but this movie sucks PILOT:on the upside I heard your relationship with Kylo is "just friends" REY:WHAT PILOT: it's canon! Just hets being jets PILOT: my wife is canon
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REY: I HELD HANDS WITH HIM PILOT: *shrug* REY: I will KISS HIM after he RESURRECTS ME! PILOT: you know kids can get really confused by seeing different sexualities depicted PILOT: when you and Kylo get a bit older you can decide if it's romantic REY: HE'S 32!!!
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PILOT: look I'm just saying people have had enough of you people reading in sexual stuff where it isn't there PILOT: anyway go over and talk with the other forced heteros on the Falcon, I'm gonna make out with my wife
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POE, at meeting that evening: we've decoded the info from the First Order spy, and it confirms the worst *long pause as he directly mimics Alec Guinness rolling his eyes at dialogue in A New Hope* POE:Somehow REY:What POE:Somehow PILOT: I have a wife to sexually make out w Poe
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POE: somehow LEIA: the Dark Side is very bad REY: Not now, recorded Leia REY: seriously what Poe POE: somehow... I can't say it FINN: you have to say it POE: by Grabthar's Hammer FINN: NOT THAT LINE
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POE, dying inside: somehowpalpatinereturned ACKBAR JR.: impossible! He's dead VERY NERDY BACKGROUND GUY: well actually, I read Dark Empire and - REY: wait the Empire wasn't dark before NERDY GUY: look, dark science. Cloning. REY: those aren't answers NERD: HEARTBORN! SEVENTH SEE
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POE: ok so look I know this is stupid but tactically it matters. He's been building something called the Final Order. The largest fleet the Galaxy has ever known PILOT: Poe, we currently have precisely one (1) light Corellian freighter. Why does that make a difference? POE: AAAAA
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POE: in sixteen hours, the Emperor and his fleet begin attacks on all free worlds POE: the Galaxy is exactly sixteen hours across POE: ...anyway, I'm Poe Dameron, and today is the longest day of my life EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME 15:59:59 15:59:58
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Replying to @BootlegGirl
Also, Whose sixteen hours? A day on Venus lasts 5832 hours!
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Oh don't start on that we'll be here all Standard Galactic Week
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