TARKIN: a clone of you? PALPATINE:no, nothing like me at all. He will be a wizened old man.Wrinkled. Clearly a corruption of the Dark Side.Very skilled at lightning and taunting people. GEN. REASONABLE:indeed, sir. Nothing at all like you PALPATINE:then I'll mind control him
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TARKIN: very good sir. But how does your penis, as you mentioned before, factor into this clearly logical scheme PALPATINE: TO THERE I AM GETTING? DO I HAVE TO SPEAK YODESE TO YOU PEOPLE? PALPATINE: so I'm gonna use this clone I'm mind controlling to mind control Vader's grandkid
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ADMIRAL BRITISH: this is an astoundingly clear and definitely thought out in advance plan. Go on, my Lord PALPATINE: so Vader's grandkid, he'll think he's hearing this wizened old man talking to him. GEN. REASONABLE: a wizened old man who isn't you PALPATINE: correct
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PALPATINE: so he will basically have a lifetime of trauma, blame his parents, flip out, kill people, and become a fascist TARKIN: all excellent things PALPATINE: but he needs a girlfriend TARKIN: what PALPATINE: it just wouldn't be complete otherwise. Hence, my dick
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PALPATINE: foreseeing this CONTINGENCY, which I should again note is just one of many possible futures,I shall have at some point in the past after my face and body got all fcked up located a consenting human with a womb and through the traditional method... *inseminated* her
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TARKIN: won't the child of that pairing be a bit old for Vader's grandkid by then? PALPATINE: oh yeah. He's already born. He has no name. Neither will his future wife. They're gonna hate me. It's all cool, just part of the plan.
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PALPATINE: so remember how I'm gonna order the vast majority of you to intentionally die on a sht desert planet ADMIRAL BRITISH: indeed, sir. PALPATINE: right so for some reason my son who has no name and his wife who also has no name will move there and they will also fck
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TARKIN: and thus .. the girlfriend... of the future host of your body PALPATINE: INDEED! AT LAST YOU SEE THE CLARITY OF MY PLAN PALPATINE: so basically, that wizened old clone guy who isn't me will make Vader's grandson try to kill her. Which I do want, but not yet
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PALPATINE: basically I need them to chase each other around, have romantic tension, and eventually kill the old guy GEN. REASONABLE: the old guy who isn't you PALPATINE: correct. After he dies, THEN I will reveal myself to Vader's grandkid
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Replying to @BootlegGirl
Okay to be fair nothing actually says Palpatine wouldn't have been happy with Kylo killing Rey in TLJ, in the beginning of TROS he treats it as a loose end he's pissed he hasn't wrapped up
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Admittedly, this scene is very much treated like Palpatine is lying to Kylo and manipulating him, but that's true of everything he says
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