Ppl told me I didn't really need it. I didn't really believe them, but even if they were right (they were), the thing was I didn't CARE. I had so much baggage and trauma at that point and after six years in the military I just wanted to wake up as another person overnight
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the thing was, I was still booking these appointments months in advance. Because I was still in the USAF and as long as I was doing nothing for my transition other than taking grey market estrogen and buying a couple sports bras I needed SOMETHING to deal with the excitement
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Anyway I'd had virtual FFS commissioned to tide me over. If you've never heard of it, that's when you send pictures of your face to an artist who photoshops them into a supposed approximation of what your best surgical results could be.
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My projections, in hindsight, were EXTREMELY inaccurate and kind of awful-looking, not helped at all by the fact that when I took the pictures I was at probably the most I've ever weighed and had already begun losing it by the time they came back But at the time I was delighted
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Like I literally printed the photos out and took them everywhere. I basically showed them to everybody I knew. I literally took them to work. I was so, so fucking excited to get FFS you guys. It was all very pure. But when my mom found out a few months later she lost her shit
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She'd known about my surgery for a while and was uncomfortable with it but she didn't turn on me so completely as when I actually showed her the projections. She was livid. Because the pictures didn't look like HER, and if I WANTED to be prettier, they'd make me look like HER
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She was really mad. Demanded to know why I hadn't simply sent both the surgeon and the artist photographs of her and told them to "make me look like that". She literally couldn't accept that a surgeon would decide the best results would make me look anything BUT more like her
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And from there she started to get very infantilizing in a kind of classical way. Told me "I hadn't done enough research" on FFS and "didn't know what I was getting into" She glibly INSISTED I could, and should, get my money back as if these kinds of surgeons just do that
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Argued with her on a near-daily basis in the weeks leading up to me flying to Argentina Even though I'd had all this planned out for _literally a year_ after years of preparation and a LIFETIME of researching trans stuff she acted like I was a child getting taken advantage of
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Anyway when the day finally came for me to fly out to Buenos Aires and make contact with the person assigned to assist me, I arrived at the airport to discover that my mother had purchased a more direct flight to the city and was already waiting at Arrivals with said assistant
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I think we've beaten this bit to death but I still can't get over what a pitch perfect wacky sitcom moment this is
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
The fact that in order for this to work she had to specifically find a flight that would leave after you and arrive before you
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Penelope being the furthest away from the United States she's ever been in her life only to suddenly find who else but
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