I guess that's the problem with the semiotics of asking "Am I THE Asshole" The framing of the question implies there is in fact an asshole and thereby someone is the asshole But in this case, if it's not husband, it's wife, which IS a genuinely awful shitty implicationhttps://twitter.com/iphone_venez/status/1212037972348088326 …
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Replying to @Nymphomachy
There are a number of things that had they gone differently would make the husband much less of an asshole Like if this weren't after multiple miscarriages, if he'd been in communication with his wife the whole time, if he'd received a direct order not to leave
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Replying to @arthur_affect
I think based on what we know, he's the asshole But a galaxy brain part of me almost wonders if the wife could be the precipitating Asshole for perhaps insisting on a kid when the fallout from the repeated failures is devastating the relationship
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Replying to @Nymphomachy
That's as may be, and I think while it doesn't really affect the morality of his actions, he'd be getting a lot more sympathy if he opened up to doing this because he's emotionally hurting instead of putting on this "What's the big deal?" callous routine (a common male strategy)
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
It does seem to be a theme of stories like this that fertility problems intensify one partner's desire to have a kid while sapping the other's, and that this typically breaks down on gendered lines
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Replying to @arthur_affect
Cynically, as an emotionally needy woman, I feel like as a cis woman if I were to think I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED MORE ATTENTION RIGHT THIS SECOND that the most effective way to hardcode that attention would be to get pregnant Of course it just makes the guy the dope for helping her
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I mean... yeah, that's an ugly stereotype but that's because it does happen sometimes The resulting baby is usually the real victim
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Replying to @arthur_affect @Nymphomachy
Spent time in family court. Not usually. Always.
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