Arlette

@arletterocks

Half sprezzatura, half wabi sabi, half cockamamie, all Chaos Muppet. She/her. Moto stuff:

Oakland
Joined August 2007
2,601 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Feb 22

    Sorry, that weird hooting-screaming noise you just heard off in the distance was me, I was underwear shopping online and found a cut called "sensual boyleg."

    3 replies 14 likes
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  2. Retweeted
    4 hours ago

    Move over Hemingway, sadder and shorter story just dropped:

    Trap the mouse. No birthday.
    3 replies 688 retweets 3,691 likes
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  3. Retweeted
    21 hours ago

    Finding transcripts of phone sex calls at the Ronald Reagan Presidential archive.

    69 replies 639 retweets 3,990 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    Jul 31

    AUGUST “In the dark creeks that run by there is this thick paw of my life darting among the black bells, the leaves; there is this happy tongue.” ~ Mary Oliver

    4 replies 109 retweets 328 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Aug 28

    If my cat doesn’t get let in fast enough he’ll just go up through the floor vent and push the vent cover off. I’m fr getting rainbow six breached by a kitten

    5 replies 563 retweets 2,479 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    Aug 28

    This exchange needs a content warning for brutal murder

    Replying to @Popehat
    Unbeatable
    21 retweets 83 likes
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  7. Retweeted
    Aug 27

    27 replies 2,815 retweets 19,349 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    Aug 28

    Navy Lieutenant years ago, as they were prepping me for emergency surgery due to a ruptured appendix: "Don't worry. If you don't make it, you'll be with Jesus so it'll be okay." I puked on him, right down the front of his shirt. Someone should do the same to this guy

    With Miss. hospitals at crisis levels, and a likely CAT4 hurricane bearing down, Gov Tate Reeves says that people in the Deep South are “less scared” of covid because, “When you believe in eternal life, then you don’t have to be so scared of things.”
    41 replies 117 retweets 982 likes
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  9. Aug 28

    hrrrrrnnnghhh

    3.5 mi E of CO-120
    1 reply 6 likes
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  10. Aug 28

    Be intimidated, fine, but what a weird thing to try to connect about. I think I’m supposed to sympathize with how scary I am or prove that no I’m actually super nice, but instead I usually end up saying “Huh, sounds like a you problem.”

    5 likes
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  11. Aug 28

    Never gonna understand dudes who flirt by implying I’m intimidating. Dude. If you think your own fear is that interesting and want to play with it, fine, but that has zero to do with me, and what you are actually looking for is a roller coaster.

    2 replies 9 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    Aug 27

    2.2 mi N of US-6

    1 retweet 1 like
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  13. Retweeted
    Aug 26

    I don’t know who needs to hear this, but there are MUCH better horse drugs out there.

    1 reply 25 retweets 108 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    Aug 26

    i’m dying

    103 replies 11,997 retweets 32,189 likes
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  15. Retweeted
    Aug 26

    78 replies 3,538 retweets 17,547 likes
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  16. Aug 27

    Remember when this neighborhood just smelled like masa and burned coffee

    2 likes
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  17. Aug 27

    Was thinking “Hey, at least it’s not structure fire smell” and heard a fire engine siren go off a block away. Now guessing relatively local brush fire.

    1 reply 3 likes
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  18. Aug 27

    On the stoop having coffee, observing the faint orange tint of the midday daylight and picking up a faint, intermittent woodsmoke smell. Got as far as “forest wildfire, fancy local restaurant or houseless person’s cookfire?” but felt too down to keep playing.

    2 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    29 Jan 2020

    did you cheat on a fucking werewolf

    she caught me cheating and keyed my car...
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    1,446 replies 128,356 retweets 421,820 likes
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  20. Retweeted
    Aug 27

    the best newsletter

    1 reply 10 retweets 182 likes
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