Ariel Sanchez Mora

But there’s almost always a win-win in there SOMEWHERE. You can start by trying to understand what is driving that desire for them. It might not be what you think.

It could be pressure from above, or a positive reputation that they want to preserve, or that they really need their full bonus this year because they already put a nonrefundable down payment on a swimming pool.

Humans are complicated systems. They operate under a constantly- shifting set of motivations - many of which they are not consciously aware of. But as you improve your communication skills (by doing it badly at first), you start to get a sense of what works for different people.

No matter how you approach it - by staking out the moral high ground, negotiation, subterfuge, or some combination - changing the incentives you operate under, and the habits those incentives create, is HARD. And sometimes it’s not possible.

Or at least, it might not possible for you to achieve, with your current level of communication skill.

Either way - notice what’s limiting your ability to write good code. It is NOT: - knowledge of the latest framework - how fast your tests run - your own weak moral fiber - your manager, PM, or CEO It IS: - how well you understand & work with people

One important note here is that people who are _not_ in the demographic majority need much better communication skills to achieve the same results, vs people who are in the majority.

This is a large part of what discouraged me, early in my career - that I couldn’t be blunt like my male peers, because it didn’t land the same way. To be effective, I had to put a lot of calories into learning how to people, while the guys spent those calories learning new tech.