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@aphyr

Trophy husband of . Purveyor o jockstrap selfies. Reddit: 'Weirdly obsessed with linked lists' Peter Watts: 'The most innovative fanfic I've ever read'

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Joined June 2009
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    1 Apr 2016

    Sometimes companies have me come and teach a two-day class on distributed systems for engineers. Here's my notes:

    44 replies 745 retweets 1,732 likes
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  2. 16 hours ago

    Hello yes who wants to play overwatch with me, who is now a nice clean boy (aphyr#1543)

    4 replies 27 likes
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  3. 17 hours ago

    *me, staring at like eight hundred weeds that have colonized the yard* hmm yes maybe I should buy gardening gloves

    23 likes
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  4. 17 hours ago

    I have never been so gently yet thoroughly shaded in my life as by this woman and her fabulous jewelry, send 911

    2 replies 34 likes
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  5. 17 hours ago

    and I let her know that she's very kind and it was mostly the renovators, not me, and I'm just starting to learn about yardwork, and she reminds me REPEATEDLY, in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS, that I need to watch those edges and weeds because once they they started MMMMM HONEY, it's OVER

    2 replies 35 likes
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  6. 17 hours ago

    Finished mowing my lawn, trimming trees, composting scraps, and sweeping the walkway, sacked out on the porch, and this HONEST TO GOD CHURCH LADY in her LITERAL SUNDAY FINEST stopped to pay me ALL these compliments about the house and how nice it is to see it fixed up...

    3 replies 1 retweet 62 likes
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  7. 19 hours ago

    oh

    2 replies 16 likes
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  8. 24 hours ago

    Gay culture is desperately trying to shit out your Sir's load before deadlift day

    3 replies 25 likes
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  9. Aug 25

    I feel extremely seen rn

    Tag yourself
    6 likes
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  10. Aug 24

    INT, DRAG SHOW: "Our next performer is a reknowned singer who turned to a life of anti-capitalist crime... boys, girls, Garnets & Pearls, put your hands up where she can see them, and welcome to the stage... ASSAIL YA' BANKS

    1 reply 3 retweets 49 likes
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  11. Aug 24

    Me, using literally any computer:

    1 retweet 47 likes
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  12. Aug 24

    cool, discovered a race condition where if you copy journals during cloud sync 's Paper app might just, like, lose three quarters of the pages in that journal it's been syncing for two hours now that's one hell of a race condition

    2 replies 6 likes
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  13. Aug 24

    1 retweet 5 likes
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  14. Aug 24

    Wow okay so I look like I have abs in that pic but I assure you I am still a fluffy malamute

    4 replies 27 likes
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  15. Aug 24

    After 2 months of moving chaos, being off diet, and not lifting properly, I finally joined a gym here and did my first real workout. Turns out I lost 20 lbs in the last couple months... Thought those shirts were fitting looser! Time to take measurements and start eating.

    4 replies 56 likes
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  16. Retweeted
    Aug 23

    [America's Next Beguiling Light] light: *twinkles beguilingly* judges 1&2: *gnashing at restraints, trying to chase the lights* judge 3: sorry darling, i just don't feel it

    2 replies 63 retweets 225 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    Aug 23

    One of the best collaborations I've done - 's testing and identification of issues have helped make Dgraph mature and stable a lot quicker than running into these issues in the wild. We'll keep working on fixing 'em. Thanks for your work, !

    So excited to release this; it's been my life for most of 2018, and is probably the biggest analysis I've written. :D
    Show this thread
    2 replies 6 retweets 23 likes
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  18. Aug 23

    Also wanna give another shout out to Dgraph; fixing these bugs has been tricky, but they've been very good sports about all this. :)

    1 retweet 26 likes
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  19. Aug 23

    So excited to release this; it's been my life for most of 2018, and is probably the biggest analysis I've written. :D

    We worked with to analyze their distributed graph database, and found 23 issues, including crashes, deadlocks, consistency anomalies, and data loss. Dgraph has addressed almost all of these in recent releases, though some problems remain.
    5 replies 25 retweets 125 likes
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  20. Aug 22

    This was an incredible idea

    2 replies 1 retweet 32 likes
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  21. Aug 22

    (camera is playing up the red in the wide shots; close up shows the tone better)

    1 reply 2 likes
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