every time my friends talk about their past relationships (even way back to trivial middle school shenanigans) I get a little sad because I never got any sort of attention, ever, and I still consider myself 100% unloveable
not to sound like an incel but no one was ever interested in me and like I know that doesn’t matter but also I grew up thinking that everyone hated me and no one would ever love me, and I sorta accepted that even though it felt horrible
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so growing up with that mindset + body dysphoria, not only will no one ever be interested in me but I will never feel comfortable with my body around other people until I get top surgery which might never happen because I’m really poor and don’t have any support
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it’s not any sort of priority right now but it just sucks feeling like I’m completely incapable of being attractive and being loved and because I’ve never gotten that sort of attention, it only makes me feel more hideous and gross and ugly and unlovable
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