Clive Jones

@anotherclive

Am I the Clive you're looking for? Ask yourself: is this how the Clive you know would respond?

Here. There. Perhaps both.
Joined September 2016
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  1. Aug 19

    Wow. Whatever really happened, that document is monstrous in and of itself. )-8

    I recommend reading the Catholic League's response to the Pennsylvania pedophile priest story, as the headlines really don't do it justice.
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  2. Aug 5

    Well, now. Reading that tweet at the caused significant grinding of mental gears!

    hedgehog in a plastic tube, about to tackle an incline
    Missing the Olympics this summer? We can do one better; consider the International Hedgehog Olympic Games (IHOG). Events include sprints, hurdles, and floor exercises (pictured). (Photo by .)
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  3. Aug 2

    I'm in my late forties, and today it finally occurred to me to Google what on earth goes on in the actual Edinburgh Festival. I only ever seem to hear about Fringe events.

    1 reply
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  4. Jul 27

    Dear , any chance you could arrange for the map to be the right way up in the Android app? I don't want to spend the entire convention looking like Sidney Lopsides.

    1 reply 1 like
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  5. Jul 12

    I've decided I need an Airplane version of Google Assistant. "OK Google, what's the temperature?" "The temperature is a physical quantity expressing hot and cold, but that's not important right now."

    2 likes
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  6. Jun 20

    Stoats! Something I couldn't identify ran across the road in front of my car the other night. Slightly bushy tail. I bet it was a stoat.

    Baby Stoats spotted on the road to Achiltibuie yesterday by the driver from Lochbroom Woodfuels. Too cute not to share...
    Show this thread
    1 retweet 1 like
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  7. Jun 20

    Those on the religious right in the USA who feel the urge to give Donald Trump gushing praise should bear in mind such things don't age well.

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  8. Jun 14

    OK. This. This is pure genius.

    This Tweet is unavailable.
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  9. Jun 12

    I saw this product in today; I can't help feeling it would interest 's legal department.

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  10. Jun 8

    Unrelated, but I've just noticed how much Lady Gaga resembles the Girl with a Pearl Earring.

    A friends mum felt that the usual hospital pain scale didn’t relate to her as a patient. So I give you, created by her son, The Work of Art Pain Scale: (genius)
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  11. Apr 11

    I'm not going to "like" this per se, but I do feel it merits some careful and interesting theological debate.

    If you don't love Me at My Old Testamentest you don't deserve Me at My New Testamentest.
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  12. Apr 11

    The DUP apparently has the community space in Bar Hill Tesco booked on Saturday afternoons. Given their likely support levels in Cambridge, that's presumably a different organisation with a very poorly chosen name.

    1 reply
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  13. Apr 10

    I've just eaten my last MaltEaster bunny. Now I have to wait until late autumn for MerryTeasers reindeer to arrive. )-8 It would be great if found a pretext for making similar things all year round!

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  14. Mar 23

    To anyone who's read 's Hogfather, this is a perilous claim to make…

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  15. Jan 28

    Four years ago, this was funny. )-8

    1 reply
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  16. Jan 2

    Right. I've now caught up with my backlog of things I meant to tweet. Easiest new year's resolution evar!

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  17. Jan 2

    There ought to be a name for breakfast cereal cocktails. At hotel breakfasts over Christmas, I settled on two parts Rice Krispies, one part Shreddies, one part Bran Flakes.

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  18. Jan 2

    Dear , which focus group decided to make your portion packs so small? Who only puts 8g on a slice of toast? Why not reduce packaging waste and go to 12g?

    1 reply
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  19. Jan 2

    Dear . I know your Meadow Churn brand is supposed to evoke bucolic production of quality butter, but it always makes me imagine careless tractor driving.

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  20. Jan 2

    Cambridge, Monday 1st, 8pm. Where *is* everyone? I've never seen those streets deserted before, not even at 3am. People can't all be nursing hangovers…

    Undo

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