I'm always so baffled, like, how do you think this conversation is going to go? Do you think I'm some kinda of feminist priest who is going to bless you and absolve you of your privilege because you confessed your continued ignorance and inaction to me in person? 


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The latest of these moments is a middle aged white dude (interrupting what I was doing) to tell me how he's not political, barely followed GamerGate, never watched any of my videos, because he has a child and a job so he doesn't have time. COOL DUDE... I DIDNT ASK NOR DO I CARE
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And then: Him: Did you mention any of our studios games in your videos? Me: What games? Him: [redacted] Me: yes absolutely Him: in a good way or bad way? Me: bad, absolutely, most certainly bad
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Follow up: he looked up one of my tropes videos that included his game and agreed with my argument but also tried to explain to me why they made the choices they did and what things he believes they got right...
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I eventually stopped him and said, "you really don't have to defend your game to me". He looked at me earnestly and said "I guess I'm looking for absolution". To which I replied, "I'm not going to give you that".
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So here's the thing: he cared enough to look it up and he clearly doesn't want to be the bad guy here -- he just isn't engaged. But, crucially, he's also not asking, how do we do better? What steps can I take back to my studio to encourage more inclusion?
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I believe there should be space for the different phases of political growth, how meeting me might inspire him to reflect more in the future. Or attending some of the great talks on this topic at the event we're at. But... I'm not here to be your feminist priest.
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I created an incredible educational resource that is free and available to everyone. So please don't ask me to do additional personalized emotional labour (in the middle of a party no less). I'd love to see more men step up as allies to take on this particular type of labour.
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It's very late. I'm super tired. I don't know if sharing this story is actually helpful to anyone but I hope it can be.
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Well you kind of get a nickle everytime you demonize men, make bizarre complains about the gaming industry and interfere with creative process. So I'm pretty sure you'll get to be a millionaire nontheless.
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Armenian & Iraqi
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She/Her •
Feminist Media Critic •
Filmmaker •
Exec Director
Co-Wrote