Green Nude Eel

@animatedGeoff

Senator | War Criminal | Web Developer | Comedian | Host & & & | Curator &

New Orleans, LA
geoffreygauchet.com
Joined April 2007
Born 1984
3,727 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    10 Oct 2013

    🎶 I'm sorry Ms. Jackson I am an eeeeel Never meant to make your daughter die I forgot I was electrified 🎶

    11 replies 57 retweets 203 likes
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  2. 16 hours ago

    I just tried the Lady Gaga Oreos and if you want to try them but can’t find them just buy these and imagine they’re a different color. That’s all they are.

    1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
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  3. 18 hours ago

    I keep going in waves of missing comedy. With the baby on the way, my attention has been focused elsewhere, but the last couple months I've been itching to perform again.

    4 likes
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  4. 19 hours ago

    First half was about how i think i might wanna be a dad but my cum is probably bad. LITTLE DID I KNOW

    1 reply 6 likes
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  5. 19 hours ago

    The last time I did standup was March 11, 2020 and I just listened to that set and I completely forgot about half the jokes.

    2 replies 12 likes
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  6. 19 hours ago

    Just checked our mailbox and the only thing inside of it was A WASP im guess this is a bad sign??

    4 replies 16 likes
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  7. 20 hours ago

    our kitchen faucet is crap and the sprayer leaks and ive hated it for years and i just found it on Lowe's website and it's literally the cheapest one there and all the reviews are "DO NOT BUY. THIS FAUCET SUCKS" which fits in line with everything else the sellers did here

    2 replies 12 likes
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  8. Retweeted
    8 Jan 2017

    The only Golden Globes I care about are my two very expensive prosthetic testicles

    4 retweets 10 likes
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  9. 22 hours ago

    Our baby is being born too late for 3/11 and too early for 4/20 so I guess I’ll have to teach them how to be cool

    2 replies 19 likes
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  10. Retweeted
    31 Mar 2020

    Remember in high school they said if you have sex w/ someone, you're having sex w/ everyone they've had sex w/ and so on so wear a condom or whatever? The same goes for COVID-19. If you shake hands with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've had sex with. Pretty cool.

    1 reply 4 retweets 28 likes
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  11. Retweeted
    Feb 28

    I know we feel down and all mixed up and we wish someone would say “don’t stay home” but it really has been almost a year. In about a week and a half it will once again be 311 Day.

    1 reply 2 retweets 14 likes
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  12. Feb 28

    I know we feel down and all mixed up and we wish someone would say “don’t stay home” but it really has been almost a year. In about a week and a half it will once again be 311 Day.

    1 reply 2 retweets 14 likes
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  13. Feb 28

    Lotta people have strong feelings about LastPass or 1Password or Apple Keychain but nothing tops my parents’ password manager: a notebook with all of their passwords written down in plain text with the service they belong to written next to them

    2 replies 19 likes
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  14. Feb 28

    Probably around 20+ years ago I was putting the Christmas decorations back up in my parents’ attic and this M&M ornament fell out the box, someone handed it to me and I stuck it above the doorbell in the hall and forgot about it and my parents have kept it there ever since

    9 likes
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  15. Feb 28

    Do you hear that sound? It’s every screenwriter in the world whispering a reverent “FUCK” under their breath.

    2 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
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  16. Feb 28

    How did they have a thing called HUNGER Games and not name the protagonist Catfish Almondine

    1 reply 1 retweet 13 likes
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  17. Feb 27

    Finally finished building the bench seating with storage. Gonna sand and paint it but it’s sturdy as hell and I love the recessed handles

    4 replies 41 likes
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  18. Feb 27

    Did Hard 2

    Can you name a movie you like from Bruce Willis that is not Die Hard?
    1 reply 10 likes
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  19. Retweeted
    Feb 26
    Replying to

    I got receipts Geoff

    1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
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  20. Feb 26

    *Bon Jovi voice* 🎵 It’s *Borat voice* my life 🎵

    2 replies 1 retweet 22 likes
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  21. Retweeted
    Feb 26
    Replying to

    Yeah no- they were actually genetically different when we were kids- it’s not our parents’ fault at all.

    1 reply 3 retweets 5 likes
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