I am honored to announce that my story “I Thinka You Stinky”, an autofiction about when I pooped my pants during a conference at the Harvard Literary Center, will be published in The Amherst Literary Review
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My favorite part of The Bible is when Jesus is like “I sayers unto thee; I be the Chief Stew” (Steve 16:4)
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I meant “top-notch”
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It would be great if there were a parody of the show Below Deck on SNL. Someone would have to be Chief Stew, though—can’t overlook that, the Chief Stew is a really important part of the Below Deck formula
One of the many interesting things about #Bismarck was that he had the nickname “Der Eisenkanzler”, which in English literally translates to “Chief Stew”
This year will mark the 80th anniversary of the murder of Charlotte Salomon at Auschwitz. She created her masterwork, 'Leben? oder Theater?', a narrative series of 760+ paintings, between the ages of 24 and 26. Taschen sells the collection: taschen.com/de/books/art/0
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who's a big time name i should try to get to blurb my book on the conglomeration of u.s. publishing and what it's meant for fiction? you know, like, stephen king.
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“This country has socialism for the rich, rugged individualism for the poor."
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
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It sucks that there is not a liberal arts college in Memphis called Presleyan
Brandon is doing too-notch crowd work right now
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Today Nancy Pelosi hands the gavel over to the GOP. If it weren't for the dysfunction of the NYS Dem Party, we wouldn't be here. Our local Dem leader, Jay Jacobs, takes our communities for granted while refusing to stand up for democracy. For that & more, Jay Jacobs has gotta go.
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Academia runs on people internalizing R1 standards without access to R1 resources.
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Can’t wait to see which topics captivate us in 2023
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Crazy Idea: You should have some relevant experience before you are appointed to run the Transportation Department.
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Aguirre, Wrath of God is a Christmas movie (it takes place at the end of December) and it’s full of festive spirit and good will. A good relaxing family watch
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One thing that would be great for Christmas would be if Kelsey Grammer did the “You talkin’ to me” scene from Taxi Driver in character as Frasier Crane. That would be really funny, right?
It’s good that fans of White Noise have not attacked Baumbach for ruining their childhoods like fans of Star Wars and Ghostbusters have done at similarly ill-fated efforts. I read literary fiction because it makes me feel superior to others, and this validates those feelings
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There’s also going to be a thing that combines Star Wars, Dr. Seuss, AND the Civil War called “Darth John Wilkes Who” that you will be able to watch on TV soon
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Disney is combining Star Wars and Dr. Seuss to create a new exciting shared universe of adventure. Here’s a new toy with Grogu after he turns to the Dark Side and becomes the evil Grinch Who Stole Christmas in the upcoming TV series, “The Whoville Chronicles”
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Being a lawyer is hard but winning is very fun. I feel like there aren’t many jobs where a person in authority says “okay you are the winner” and then signs a little piece of paper declaring that to be true.
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The Proletariat should be The Chief Stew
I’m so pissed at the guy who says grad students doing boring work get jobs!!!! anyway, check out my new essay on domestic ecology in the nineteenth century
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There should be a combo of White Lotus and The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists where you find out in 1st episode that the Doomsday Clock has been moved to, say, 60 seconds to midnight, but you don’t find out why until the climax of 8th episode. “Lotus of the Atomic Scientists”
“The Genealogy of Morons” lol
As this is the season of lists, top tens, favourites, etc. I thought I would share what is probably my all-time favourite tweet. (I think about this at least once a week.)
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I can’t believe Independent Spirit Awards and NYFCC would ignore John Henderson’s bracing meditation on fate and desire, “Mr. Stinky Takes a Pee.” It had subtle artistry and a keen visual eye
My favorite TV show is “Law & Order:Heist”. The first half of every episode depicts a rag-tag group of idealized archetypes planning and executing a heist; second half of each episode depicts archetypes of the legal system bringing about the downfall of the heist team. It’s good!
What I like about Twitter is that it’s like you get to write and read cool little emails to the whole world with fun jokes and interesting facts. If they just called it “t-mail”, that would emphasis its connection to the much more popular medium of email and be more inviting
Walking home now with cumin in hand. I passed someone talking on the phone who said “Yeah. Josh Shaffer” very emphatically like “Josh Shaffer” is code for something significant and a little violent like “I got fired” or “My adult child enrolled in a PhD program”
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Just walked into a grocery store. Need to pick up some cumin. I saw a sign in front of an aisle that said “Spices”. I looked up at it and paused a bit too long, like I was in a film and needed to give the audience a beat to process my own thought process. Do other people do that
Going for a nice quiet walk around the neighborhood. People are coming back from their TG trips, hoisting luggage out of cars and up steps . . . Wait! Come back, please! This is interesting—it matters to me
“that was where death by a thousand passes will work if you’re Spain”
“that was off sides” lol
Do my eyes deceive me or are they remodeling the Metropolitan Ave stop, but not taking down these cheesy minimal pairs? That’s leaving money on the table
American World Cup commentary really is shockingly poor - "as a goalkeeper you need to have a capacity to make those big saves", yeah wow bro, thanks
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Season 3 of White Lotus should take place in one of those weird motels in Gowanus by the U-Haul center and all the characters can be folks who are hiding out in the motel in order to avoid getting served legal process
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“What Had Happened” would be a really funny title for something
Spike Lee won an Oscar for writing “BlacKkKlansman”. I talked to an official who voted that year and he said there was general consensus among Academy voters that even though the dialogue was trite and dull, the spelling of the title was so ingenious that they had to recognize it
I saw a man get struck by a car. He lay flat in our street. Hundreds gathered around. He stood up, his face covered in blood. He said, Now I know how Helen DeWitt felt when a Tom Cruise movie called The Last Samurai came out. Everyone clapped. He walked away like nothing happened
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I saw a man get struck by a car. He lay flat in our street. Hundreds gathered around. He stood up, his face covered in blood. He said, Now I know how Helen DeWitt felt when a Tom Cruise movie called The Last Samurai came out. Everyone clapped. He walked away like nothing happened
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