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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Jul 3

    my five-star review of “transformers: the last knight”

  2. Jul 27
    Replying to

    wow historians are already referring to my last three tweets as the “murmur trilogy” thanks everyone

  3. Jul 27
    Replying to

    the murmurs got louder but now they’re softer again i fear i am losing my mind

  4. Jul 27
    Replying to

    it’s also entirely possible the murmurs are louise mensch’s sources

  5. Jul 27

    someone needs to make a sleep sounds app with the background murmuring on cspan

  6. Jul 27
  7. Jul 26
  8. Jul 26

    next: a dating site for people who've seen 'dunkirk' in 70mm IMAX

  9. Jul 26
  10. Jul 25

    i have done this three times and let me tell u it never gets less embarrassing

  11. Retweeted
    Jul 25

    Does it really matter what format you see Dunkirk in? I watched it in three different ones to find out.

  12. Jul 23

    joe’s right. in fact, i haven’t seen hypocrisy like this since that tv host helped get trump elected and then left the republican party

  13. Jul 22

    until today i had no idea how many childhoods were ruined by ‘ready player one’

  14. Jul 21
  15. Jul 21

    hardest hit: journalists who loved saying "spicey"

  16. Jul 20

    “dunkirk” is the best reason to see a movie in a theater in years

  17. Jul 20

    i guess oj can stop the keyser soze limp now

  18. Jul 20
    This Tweet is unavailable.
  19. Retweeted
    Jul 19

    hi this is my newest project it has nothing to do with politics but plenty to do with sweatpants -> via

  20. Jul 19

    this is worse than the kevin smith tweet

  21. Jul 19

    i'm glad rand paul is very upset that the guy he voted to confirm as AG is doing exactly what everyone knew he would do

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