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Mac wouldn’t boot. Turned out I’d installed the Simulator’s backboardd launchd plist into OS X’s /S/L. It ran at boot, stole IOHID control!

I’m genuinely shocked backboardd actually made it out of dyld. Did you install the whole Simulator framework stack too?

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Nope, but there was some big SB-stack root I’d installed at one point (apparently incorrectly).