Mac wouldn’t boot. Turned out I’d installed the Simulator’s backboardd launchd plist into OS X’s /S/L. It ran at boot, stole IOHID control!
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. boot failure message: "O what hath God wrought, that mine I/O drivers might differ so! Woe is me!"
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Basically WindowServer was like “What’s… what’s going on?” and backboardd was dutifully waiting for SpringBoard to launch.