Some cities reveal what I cherish about them much more immediately than others. I've noticed that what I love about SF can be hard for visitors to see. How do you visit "weird people taking ideas v seriously"? How to put that in a guidebook? You've gotta go to the dinner parties.
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Interesting point.
Dinner parties sounds like a feature only experienced by a subset of a certain social network. Are there any other ways to experience this aspect of SF for those not in that network, especially visitors?
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Yes, you're right.
Some of these community spaces are moderately legible online (like the ones Jess lists), so a visitor could reach out or look for an event calendar.
In general I see visitors/outsiders enter by levering 1:1 connections developed thru correspondence.