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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
parts work has been incredibly helpful for me because it helps me be more patient with paradoxical and conflicting responses I have towards lots of things some parts of me can't deal with something at all and the rest of me is fine with it and that is fine and can be resolved
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
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Replying to @selentelechia @hormeze and @tasshinfogleman
this is very helpful discussion thank you 🙏 I haven't even poked structured metta with a stick because I have a strong suspicion there are parts of me violently allergic to it
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
I know there are days when I peer towards metta and "get it" there are also days when I start to incline towards metta and nope nope nope nope nope
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
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Been reading @tasshinfogleman's metta tweets and now I'm casually aware of the infinite cosmic pools of good sentiments that we can nab from and they never run out so we can take as much {goodness|kindness|sweetness|gentleness|lovingness|cuteness|etc} as we want 😮
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
it's just parts, none of this is totalising, I can hold onto that "sometimes this works" but also that "sometimes this doesn't" I don't have to pressure myself into immersing myself fully in something if part of me resists
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
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Anyway, easier said than done, a whole lot of reading and self-therapy and meditation and talking with others went into this process. But I'm now at the point where I can feel that internal "nope", felt in the tiny voice of someone who's not driving, and take it into account
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
it's only through this kind of patience and gentle listening to parts and centering of the wants and needs of resisting parts that I've been able to untangle some of my more gnarly knots recently
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
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it's a great opportunity to overwrite your hacky workarounds, to take your inner child by the hand to show them how to learn skills and develop healthy strategies instead and this can take a while, especially if you've developed chains of interdependent "disordered" workarounds
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
"if it feels wrong in any way it is wrong in some way" (which I got from
@meditationstuff
) has been a tremendously good mantra here
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
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14/ To start with, listening to our felt sense of wrongness is a strange experience, because it's not coherent. It's not a single voice, and sometimes some of those voices are louder than others. A helpful prompt for me was: If it feels wrong IN ANY WAY It is wrong IN SOME WAY
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Mrs C 🪷
@captain_mrs
a 1% felt resistance at the aggregate level can be a 100% "no no no absolutely not terrible idea danger do not" from a small part patiently listening to and and working it out can be incredibly instructive
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