Conversation

Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
I've noticed that consciousness recedes when I'm deep in a coding phase, many back-to-back days in flow. My mind narrows to tunnel-vision, fixated on the software and its issues. My sense of self shrinks; non-code ideas cease to arise; I get less curious; writing yields little.
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Eli Finer
@finereli
This was what convinced me to finally leave behind a career in coding after 25 years. I enjoy coding while I'm doing it, but if I do it for many hours in a day it seems to dry my soul. After a full day of coding I don't want to be close to my wife, play with my kids or...
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Eli Finer
@finereli
...even take a shower before I go to bed. In fact the symptoms feel very similar to depression even though I'm active and creative but in a very narrowly focused way. No other activity creates that effect in me, but like you said Andy, maybe it's just because we're good at it.
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Eli Finer
@finereli
One thing I've noticed is that I repress my emotions almost completely when I code and my usually fairly high awareness not my inner world does down. Repressed emotions are linked to all manner of mental issues, which might be why this feels similar to depression.
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Eli Finer
@finereli
Could also be why after a long day of coding unusually want to break some furniture. Nothing specific, just a general sense of an emotional overload wanting to break free.
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