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I've noticed that consciousness recedes when I'm deep in a coding phase, many back-to-back days in flow. My mind narrows to tunnel-vision, fixated on the software and its issues. My sense of self shrinks; non-code ideas cease to arise; I get less curious; writing yields little.
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It's an odd feeling: flow is experientially satisfying, but the creeping self-abnegation is worrying. I also notice it takes quite a while to "reset" from this phase, to start hearing myself think again, to feel like less of an automaton.
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I don't experience this feeling when I spend many days back-to-back in flow doing other work: developing an idea, writing, designing. I wonder if it's bc those activities are more creative, involve more reflective thought. Or maybe it's that I'm worse at them—so flow's less deep!
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Also, I haven't noticed this much until last year. Hypotheses: a) didn't happen before b/c I rarely stayed in flow for days at a time working on a team; b) I only notice it now b/c I've become more self aware; c) I only notice it now b/c I value insight more and execution less?
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I have had this experience, fwiw. More generally I’ve observed that my cognition has “modes” that can take 1-3 days to get into, and then 1-3 days to get out of. Chore mode, coding mode, writing mode, meditation mode, creativity mode, … I can’t do more than one of those things
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I’m not sure! Maybe you can describe “sense of self”? When I’m doing creative work, there is also a sense of immersion… but maybe myself is included in that in a way hacking excludes?
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I guess in routine programming—and probably for both of us all programming is routine—one is not adding anything of oneself, just figuring out what the tedious requirements of gluing together APIs demands; it’s all it-focussed Whereas ->
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