Conversation

Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
I've noticed that consciousness recedes when I'm deep in a coding phase, many back-to-back days in flow. My mind narrows to tunnel-vision, fixated on the software and its issues. My sense of self shrinks; non-code ideas cease to arise; I get less curious; writing yields little.
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Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
It's an odd feeling: flow is experientially satisfying, but the creeping self-abnegation is worrying. I also notice it takes quite a while to "reset" from this phase, to start hearing myself think again, to feel like less of an automaton.
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Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
I don't experience this feeling when I spend many days back-to-back in flow doing other work: developing an idea, writing, designing. I wonder if it's bc those activities are more creative, involve more reflective thought. Or maybe it's that I'm worse at them—so flow's less deep!
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Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
Replying to
@andy_matuschak
One alternative ofc is to not get so deep into flow when building stuff. I've tried that (accidentally and intentionally); it does avoid the self-abnegation issue. But then I get frustrated because projects take non-linearly longer to finish, and it feels like they drag on. 🤷‍♂️
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Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
Wrote this thread as I was preparing to “reset” after finishing a large implementation milestone. Now on the road for the week to recover my mind. Beautiful sunrise at Bryce this morning!
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Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
Amusing reflection: an afternoon with psilocybin is a significantly faster, cheaper, and more effective way to reset this tunnel vision than a week-long road trip.
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David Chapman
@Meaningness
Replying to
@andy_matuschak
I have had this experience, fwiw. More generally I’ve observed that my cognition has “modes” that can take 1-3 days to get into, and then 1-3 days to get out of. Chore mode, coding mode, writing mode, meditation mode, creativity mode, … I can’t do more than one of those things
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David Chapman
@Meaningness
“Hacker trance” is a known thing, together with the observations that interrupts can force you out of mode and you lose your state and might as well take the rest of the day off.
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Olaf Alex
@olaf_alex
Replying to
@andy_matuschak
As a lawyer I review and draft in natural language, not code. But same experience. I agree with b) + c). „Working“ flow is satisfying at several levels but lacks a certain higher quality of engagement in the mind, compared to more abstract conceptual and less bounded reflection.
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Olaf Alex
@olaf_alex
…but it only becomes relevant if you try to notice and introspect and if you have the inclination to the latter type of working/thinking, which many don’t (or supress).
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Andy Matuschak
@andy_matuschak
This was new to me! “... disparaging the conventional market-driven art world in favor of an artist-centered creative practice.” -> “disparaging the conventional market-driven tech world in favor of an technologist-centered creative practice”
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