Twitter: I am terrible at asking for help! I never think to do it. And when I do, I dismiss it, thinking “ah, it’s so much overhead to involve others that it’s easier to just handle myself.” But I’m sure I’m not asking nearly enough.
Help me! What strategies do you have here?
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(Very helpful replies—thank you!)
One barrier for me is worrying about downside. Asking for help sometimes does end in morass—more noise than signal, more effort than going solo, excess social overhead. Any advice on choosing whom to ask or on crafting a request to avoid morass?
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Progress report: I've pushed myself to ask for help more in the last month, and I wish I'd done it sooner!
Shoutouts:
❤️ to @randiisan for saving me from build systems: twitter.com/andy_matuschak
❤️ to for patient advice through weeks of me stuck on the same problem.
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Request for help from Android fans interested in my work: Orbit uses LevelDB for an object store and React Native for its UI. I’ve written (and open-sourced) native RN<>LevelDB bindings for iOS/Mac. Would anyone be up for contributing Android bindings? github.com/andymatuschak/
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One surprising issue I find myself having is that I need help in noticing when I should ask for help (and from whom). If something is "task-shaped," it's easy-ish to ask. But if I'm unhappy about some general area, it's often not. Hard to see opportunities when lost in the woods.
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Yes! I’m asking for help about asking for help! When do you do it; how do you get over your own objections; how do you choose whom to ask; what kind of asking-for-help seems most positive-sum; etc
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Maybe we should do more unsolicited help, in that case the helping has already been done and there is no complaint possible :p
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This is going to sound trite, but just ask. It’s the real answer.
I may preface things with “this may be common knowledge, but does anyone know about tackling xxxx? All I have been able to find is yyyy”
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Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is essential sometimes.
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