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I’m terrible at this (I call this feeling “my screaming harpies”), but thinking out loud: Zooming out usually helps. I’m often disappointed with what I did this week but feel great about what I did in the last few months.

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· Apr 4, 2020

Every month I review my goals and reflect on my progress, practices, and mindset. Looking back, I note that in 7 of the 9 last months, I was pretty disappointed in myself. There were always lots that wasn't going to plan. Everything always took longer to finish than I’d expected.

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Seems like basically all the work I most admire was driven not by guilt or desire for productivity but by overwhelming obsession. I don’t think you can force that! Sure, we can ask: “how can I double down on this thing I’m obsessed with?” but that’s not a guilt-driven question.

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Mindfulness meditation has helped me a lot here. It helps me de-identify: the feeling of insufficiency is just a sensation that arises and passes away, unbidden—like a burp! “I notice a feeling of dissatisfaction” is very different (+ more constructive) than “I’m dissatisfied.”

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Relatedly, I find the Stoics’ writing on past-vs-present helpful. The past is already over; what matters is the present. Feeling bad about “wasting” a morning is just more time wasted. What do I want to do in this moment, now? books.google.com/books?id=brSid

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On the other hand: this feeling is actually useful—at least in some form. It’s hard to do great work without demanding a lot of yourself! Probably the right amount of “feeling bad about not having done enough” isn’t zero. Need the emotional drive, but without the negative slant.

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Noah Tye

@noahlt