The bar manager was now threatening me. He grabbed me and brought me to an ATM outside. I refused to take out cash. So he called the police, of which I welcomed. Surely the Mexican police would understand the situation 
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Of course the police were working with the bar manager w/ the tourist swindle, so the police handcuff me as the bar manager steals my debit card and passport. I’m put into a police car and sit up front with two officers. We actually got along quite well as I applauded their con.
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The police bring me to a jail somewhere outside of Cabo. I asked if they could at least get my passport back. They laughed and said they’re locking me up for 30 minutes then letting me go. I’m placed in a cell with a guy from the UK who got into a fight.
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“My fucking wife is going to kill me...” he tells me. I tell him to say someone else started a fight with him... but he knows his wife will call him out his bullshit. I’m still in good spirits at this time. Thirty minutes in a Mexican jail? Could be worse...
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Three hours goes by. “Capitan? Capitan?” I shout through the bars. It’s now daytime and my cell mate tells me he’s gotta take a shit, but there’s no toilet paper. There is a blanket covering the window, so I suggest he take it off and use that. And he did.
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Now cold and jetlagged from my previous day’s travel from Indonesia, I decide to rest my head on the metal tray bed. My cell mate’s wife found him and posted bail. “Ah fuck, I should just stay in here” he tells me... genuinely worried about the upcoming encounter with his wife.
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I doze off. I’m awoken several hours later by an officer. “Your friend pay bail.” What the fuck? Im given my belongings and shoved outside where a woman from Kenya was waiting for me. “I heard what happened when you came in, so I figured you could use some help.”
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I thank her over & over and ask what she was arrested for. “I ordered an Uber and the driver said I didn’t pay.” Fuck Cabo. So now the two of us start walking to nowhere and spot a guy chilling in his car. We ask for directions back to the marina and he instead offers us a ride.
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Imagine if a Mexican & a Kenyan came up to a car in the US & asked for directions. Anyways, we get to the marina & the Kenyan offers the guy cash... he refuses. It’s now 2:00 & my flight leave at 3:26. The Kenyan joins me to the airport, but unfortunately her flight was at 8:30am
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Replying to @andrewkimmel
Imagine if a Mexican and a Kenyan had two beers in a bar in the US and the bar tried to steal 300 from them. The cops in the US would help them.
1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
Depends on where the bar is...
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andrew.kimmel@gmail.com