Andrew KimmelVerified account

At the last bar of the evening, I was presented with a bill for over $300. I had two beers. The bar manager said I needed to pay or he’d call the police. I give him my credit card and it was declined due to fraud protection, which I found out today as my phone had died earlier.

The bar manager was now threatening me. He grabbed me and brought me to an ATM outside. I refused to take out cash. So he called the police, of which I welcomed. Surely the Mexican police would understand the situation

Of course the police were working with the bar manager w/ the tourist swindle, so the police handcuff me as the bar manager steals my debit card and passport. I’m put into a police car and sit up front with two officers. We actually got along quite well as I applauded their con.

The police bring me to a jail somewhere outside of Cabo. I asked if they could at least get my passport back. They laughed and said they’re locking me up for 30 minutes then letting me go. I’m placed in a cell with a guy from the UK who got into a fight.

“My fucking wife is going to kill me...” he tells me. I tell him to say someone else started a fight with him... but he knows his wife will call him out his bullshit. I’m still in good spirits at this time. Thirty minutes in a Mexican jail? Could be worse...

Three hours goes by. “Capitan? Capitan?” I shout through the bars. It’s now daytime and my cell mate tells me he’s gotta take a shit, but there’s no toilet paper. There is a blanket covering the window, so I suggest he take it off and use that. And he did.

Now cold and jetlagged from my previous day’s travel from Indonesia, I decide to rest my head on the metal tray bed. My cell mate’s wife found him and posted bail. “Ah fuck, I should just stay in here” he tells me... genuinely worried about the upcoming encounter with his wife.

I doze off. I’m awoken several hours later by an officer. “Your friend pay bail.” What the fuck? Im given my belongings and shoved outside where a woman from Kenya was waiting for me. “I heard what happened when you came in, so I figured you could use some help.”