Andrew Kimmel on Twitter: "Seriously? I’m $30K in debt, but please tell me about my vast wealth. GTFO… "

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

I thank her over & over and ask what she was arrested for. “I ordered an Uber and the driver said I didn’t pay.” Fuck Cabo. So now the two of us start walking to nowhere and spot a guy chilling in his car. We ask for directions back to the marina and he instead offers us a ride.

14 replies 124 retweets 2,803 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

Imagine if a Mexican & a Kenyan came up to a car in the US & asked for directions. Anyways, we get to the marina & the Kenyan offers the guy cash... he refuses. It’s now 2:00 & my flight leave at 3:26. The Kenyan joins me to the airport, but unfortunately her flight was at 8:30am

25 replies 131 retweets 2,935 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do. I call passport control in the States to report a stolen passport. They tell me to call the local embassy. I call and they’re closed. I ask my new friend to wait in the car at the airport as I run to the airline desk. It’s now 3:00pm.

7 replies 86 retweets 2,362 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

I tell the airline agent what happened and ask if there is anything I can do to get home. I show her my Real ID (what a stupid fucking name) and a photo of my passport. She gets on the line with CBP and somehow arranges for me to jump on the last flight out without a passport.

7 replies 95 retweets 2,970 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

I’m directed to the immigration desk as the airport and advised I need to purchase a new immigration form for $35. “All I have is my credit card,” I tell them. I’m then redirected to another desk that accepts credit card payments. “We’ll need your passport to process, sir.”pic.twitter.com/WsAZQSuLCV

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

I run back to my friend in the rental car, tell her I can make the last flight out, but I needed more money At this point, I’m losing my shit over just about everything, and she grabs my hand, tells me it’ll be ok and then kisses me I kiss back. What the fuck is happening?

35 replies 125 retweets 4,155 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

My phone finally turns back on. I let my friends know I’m in Mexico without a passport and just spent the night in jail, so I might be a little late for our New Years party tonight. They expressed concern, then bask in my misfortunes. Within one minute, they whip up this gem pic.twitter.com/MuKe9zECVf

22 replies 184 retweets 6,578 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

“If you don’t make your flight, you can stay with me at my Airbnb,” my jail crush tells me. Fuck. What once was “get me out of Mexico” turned into, “well this could be interesting.” But of course I couldn’t. I came to Mexico for a goddamn mileage run & I’m getting that status

34 replies 104 retweets 3,295 likes

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Andrew Kimmel‏Verified account @andrewkimmel Dec 31

So to sum it up, I was $275 short for status... was given an offer to maintain for $1875 (!?), took a $400 flight to spend 24hrs in Mexico after 20hrs travel the day before & ended up in a Mexican jail w/ no passport, a $350 bail bill, & an African crush. Happy new year everyone!

112 replies 274 retweets 6,931 likes