andrew.kimmel@gmail.com
A group of young men and their kids were playing two-hand touch football at the beach when the lifeguard came over and said they had to stop because someone might get hurt. As the lifeguard walked away, one of the men declared quietly, “the pussification of America.” 
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She's too busy making up stories at the beach. Obvs.
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Crazy that the two things are 100 percent unrelated
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She’ll never date you....
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