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  1. 20 Oct 2016

    "Yo are you into Acai bowls?"

  2. 13 Oct 2016
    Replying to
  3. 13 Oct 2016

    Finally got to try the burger thanks to . Pretty impressive

  4. 3 Oct 2016

    Vin Scully delivers the classiest sign-off anyone could hope for. I've listened to this 20 times already

  5. 30 Sep 2016

    I'm really looking forward to 2025 when humans can finally inhabit a place where cilantro doesn't exist

  6. 30 Sep 2016

    Friends don't let friends use 3D Touch

  7. 27 Aug 2016

    WSJ giving me the news I need to know

  8. 24 Aug 2016

    If you're not cheating, you're not trying

  9. Retweeted
    16 Aug 2016

    Read it all. This is the very definition of a terrorist and yet his victims are more likely to be called ones.

  10. Retweeted
    5 Jul 2016
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  11. Retweeted
    29 Jun 2016

    Beth, My wages have been increased. I shall purchase more land, and perhaps now your father will approve of us.

  12. 25 Jun 2016

    Baby, I like your style 🎶 – at Chambers Landing Bar

  13. 18 Jun 2016

    As an Angels fan living in San Francisco, it's pretty surreal seeing Tim Lincecum pitching in red

  14. 15 Jun 2016

    Hit the BF% goal. Excited to start the bulk, aka the "Workout Plan for Total Beginners / Babies" 💪💪💪

  15. 10 Jun 2016

    Wow, you won't believe it but this is only 100 calories!

  16. Retweeted
    27 May 2016

    This will be Richard Jefferson's 4th NBA Finals (Nets, 2003, Nets, 2002, Visigoths, 437, Sumerians, 1734 BC)

  17. 30 May 2016

    Montreal smoked meat + Tim Hortons. Canadians, am I doing this right...?

  18. 24 May 2016

    Delicious themed donut. (the donut guy informed me that the W's win whenever they make a batch of these)

  19. Retweeted
    22 May 2016

    This is some picture.

  20. 5 May 2016

    I guess I'm okay with bad science getting published as long as it's as entertaining as this:

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