Andrew Dickens

@andrewdickens

Writer/columnist/presenter/former world record-holder. Second-rate fourth estate. Words-for-cash offers to ajdickens@gmail.com

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Joined February 2009
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  1. Aug 6

    BREAKING: No new developments in the case of the missing photographer.

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  2. Aug 5

    This is impressive but it's got nothing on The Bill's alumni.

    Al Bundy as a Miami Vice Coke Dealer (1984)
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    1 like
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  3. Retweeted
    Jul 29

    Hola! Now would be a really good time to offer me some writing work. I've written for places like The New Yorker, The Guardian, Wired, Vice, GQ, and Esquire. Here's my website: . I'm on mr.ralph.jones@hotmail.co.uk.

    1 reply 6 retweets 6 likes
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  4. Jul 28

    Trying to work out if three ex three basketball is a worse choice for an Olympic sport than baseball or sevens rugby.

    1 reply
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  5. Jul 28

    Shit a stick. They pronounce it as written: "three ex three". But, you know, cricket is too niche.

    1 reply
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  6. Jul 28

    What's gonna qualify as an Olympic sport in 2024? Headers and volleys? French cricket? Table football?

    1 reply
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  7. Jul 22

    I much approve of Brazil's line-up graphics.

    FALTA POUCO! A está escalada para enfrentar a Alemanha na estreia dos Jogos de Tóquio! Vamos pra cima em busca da vitória, Brasil! 🏅🇧🇷 🇧🇷 x 🇩🇪 | Hoje - 08h30
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  8. Jul 22

    I tell you what, if Labour didn't have Jeremy Corbyn as leader they'd be 20 points ahead in the polls and favourites for Eurovision, Qatar 2022 and the space race.

    They wrote references for MP convicted of sex offence. They wanted to keep that secret. They tried to get senior judges to pressure the trial judge to keep it secret. They assumed judges do what Tory MPs tell them. Judges don’t. Thank goodness.
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  9. Retweeted
    Jul 20

    RT if you’ve ever used your pants as a phone hammock when you were sat on the toilet

    18 replies 36 retweets 118 likes
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  10. Jul 19

    Can someone who knows what they're talking about please explain to me why a 'ping', because you might have come into contact with someone with Covid, means 10 days of isolation and not, say, getting a test to see if you have it?

    4 replies
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  11. Jul 19

    This is perfect.

    Sometimes the toughest opponents are the ones you can’t see. We’ve launched our new campaign to show that you don’t have to fight it alone. CALM is always in your corner. WATCH OUR FIRST EVER TV AD.
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  12. Jul 13

    Just browsing Arsenal's eBay page.

    1 like
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  13. Jul 12

    I remember England players getting applause, even friendly chants, from opposition fans while playing for their clubs at the start the 96/97 season. And they only got to the semis. That'll definitely happen this August, right?

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  14. Jul 11

    This is the level.

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  15. Jul 11

    Great start but we all know England would be eight up if Saka was playing.

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  16. Jul 11

    If we'd reached the final in 1996, I'm pretty sure England fans wouldn't have been so cunty.

    0:19
    One of the outer security fences at Wembley breached underneath the main steps, mad dash to get in before being closed again by stewards.
    2 likes
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  17. Jul 7

    FOOTBALL'S CUNNING GNOME!

    2 retweets 3 likes
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  18. Jul 5

    Aloha. I'm looking for any who looks after luxury/spa/boutique hotels in Malta. DM/email me please.

    2 replies 2 retweets 1 like
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  19. Jul 5

    This made me think: Why do nonces get their own swing in prisons?

    📢 is building on Polygon! 🚀 With Polygon, NFT users will be able to increase the liquidity of their NFTs by utilizing Nonce's fractionalization protocol that creates a seamless bridge between the NFT and ERC20 world. 🌐 Learn more:
    2 replies 1 like
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  20. Jul 2

    I love how this Italy team play. Imagine if England tried to have this much fun.

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