ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ the average bear

@an_average_bear

Faint-hearted descriptivist; terrible sense of direction. Retweets are proposals of marriage.

Vrijeme pridruživanja: kolovoz 2013.

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  1. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    Things I never knew I wanted to happen until just now: *Doorbell rings* “Forget death and seek life, my friend! Do you have a moment for us to proclaim the deeds of Gilgamesh?” “Yes. Yes, I do.”

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    "If the story of Robert Peters shows anything, it is that swindlers benefit from the reluctance of individuals and institutions to reveal that they have been swindled. Secrecy benefits the criminal."

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    The Wichita Beacon, Kansas, August 9, 1918

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    In a time in which many people seem drawn to authoritarianism, consider Justice Jackson's words: "Those who begin coercive elimination of dissent soon find themselves exterminating dissenters. Compulsory unification of opinion achieves only the unanimity of the graveyard."

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    lol so today this bookstore is having what could be its first health & safety inspection in about 258 years and reader I am crying with laughter they sent a very helpful man who started off super cheery but 1 hour later is acting like he's trapped in a SAW movie

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. sij

    "some crossbows" That's the kind of ambiguity that ends with your home turned into an armory

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Funny, my former online dating profile said I was a small woman in the body of a larger woman, like an adorable Russian nesting doll.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    My wife and I never talk to our kids. We ask them to submit all communications anonymously through rigorous and double-blind peer review. My daughter is 5 and has 21 publications in high-impact journals. My daughter can burn holes in furniture using only her eyes

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    impressed that the baby figured out how to type omega and Å from the keyboard somehow though whereas I, a full-fledged linguist, just went and copy-pasted from the wikipedia article

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    "what is your longest standing academic beef based on a real or imagined slight?" should really be a standard interview question.

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. sij
    Odgovor korisnicima

    But what if the detectives are cute tho

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. sij
    Odgovor korisnicima

    no, spouses are always the first suspect in these instances. Best to maintain an appearance of dishevelment until you’re cleared of wrongdoing.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. sij

    Me (22): I would like to close my savings Banker: How can we keep your business? Me: You can't B: What bank are you switching to? Me: I won't be banking anymore B: But where will you keep your money? Me: I'm going to give it away, enter a monastery, & take a vow of poverty B: Oh.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    7. sij

    Professor's strengths: "Before this class, I didn't know what a tort was. So I guess that's something."

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    Tweet je nedostupan.
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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. pro 2019.

    So I'm helping a kid I know with some college applications and I have some thoughts. My friend has a GPA of over 4.0 and a star in track and cross-country. She grew up Black in a white rural town in CA--oh and she's homeless. She's living with a friend's family.

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  18. Bridging the Internet's Digital Language Divide | WIRED

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. pro 2019.

    30 different Mayan languages are currently spoken by over 6 million Maya in Central America. Please repeat this incessantly until people stop being surprised!

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. pro 2019.

    Another day, another mainstream media report on a study by economists trying to figure out if women are under-represented in STEM because we forget to call ourselves "brilliant" (darn our silly lady brains! failing to unnecessarily editorialize!)

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    11. pro 2019.

    "Someone is Putting Cowboy Hats on Pigeons in Las Vegas" - a song by me and the

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