men really be lying to themselves
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There’s actually a lot of woman who let niggas cheat in peace where cheating is not a deal breaker for her & she still remains faithful. It’s just not popular so they don’t admit it.
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Sarah Suzuki Harvard
@amyharvard_
stand-up comedian • senior copywriter • former journalist • 
100% Moroccan + 
100% Japanese • venmo cashapp: $sarahharvard
100% Moroccan + 100% Japanese • venmo cashapp: $sarahharvardComedianNew York, NYBorn June 11Joined February 2011
Sarah Suzuki Harvard’s Tweets
TIL that Ronaldo is from Madeira, which is far closer to Morocco than Portugal. So, there’s a high chance that he has, ethnically speaking, a North African background.
Which means I’m half-Japanese, half-Ronaldo 🤡
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tell me your mom is japanese without telling me your mom is japanese
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love to see Liverpool fans cry
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Real Madrid beat Liverpool in two UCL finals and beat them in two more UCL knockout ties. Signed Tchouameni who was Liverpool’s main target last summer and now closing in on Bellingham who was Liverpool’s main target for about three years.
Never seen bullying like this before.
The crazy cat lady in me wants to adopt 11 cats and name them after my Real Madrid dream team:
Ronaldo, Pepe, Marcelo, Sergio, Benzema, Kroos, Luka, Bale, Ozil, Varane, and Zidane 😭⚽️
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I’m hoping we have a repeat of this on Tuesday
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On this day a year ago, Real Madrid did the greatest comeback in the Champions League history against Man City.
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jamie tartt is what jack grealish wishes he looks like LOL
Ronaldo is like Jesus in that he died for our sins, but a lot of Christians have turned away from him
and not to mention that his son died shortly before his daughter became nearly deathly ill
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Lionel Messi gets a pass for disrespecting PSG by going on an unauthorised trip to Saudi Arabia and missing training.
Cristiano Ronaldo got ridiculous hate for missing pre-season because his daughter was sick in the hospital.
The double standards. Story of their careers.
asking for me & for an entire class of new york “comedy people”
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how do u guys recover when someone kills your vibe (besides putting a curse on the person who did it)?
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french people, french peopling in 🙄
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Sorry you have a bad relationship with your girlfriend but I don’t think that’s the English language’s problem
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my email got hacked you guys lol so if you anything from me, plz ignore
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Cristiano Ronaldo's First Official goal in his illustrious career 🪄
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me trying to understand jazz music at a jazz club is like a dad trying to understand why his kid identifies as non-binary
we don’t like the sound of it but we’re just happy to be here
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this is probably the fattest thing i’ve ever said in my life lol
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i almost got in a fight with a french tourist at a korean bbq restaurant
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i almost got in a fight with a french tourist at a korean bbq restaurant
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such a specific category just to make haaland on top & ronaldo out of top 5.
what’s next? players with most goals in a season at age 22 with a dad who later became divorced and is allergic to peanuts?
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Players with most goals in a season at age 22, A thread
1. Erling Haaland - 50 goals, 44 matches
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Cristiano Ronaldo - Without Real Madrid/One Club System
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i feel like the only people who do roast battles are people who don’t get booked on regular stand-up shows & just do sketches lol
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i feel like whenever i go to whole foods, i never get whole foods. they always just have partial foods
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the middle just hits different 🤌🏽
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i almost got in a fight with a racist french tourist in a bathroom in koreatown after she verbally assaulted me today, how’s your morning?
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Saying "White people have no culture" is an expression of internalized white supremacy.
They do have a culture, but you are conditioned to see it as the default/normal, so it's not "culture."
It's the same reason our food is "ethnic." Why isn't theirs ethnic too?
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Replying to
most forced debate ever, mbappe will always be a better player than haaland and haaland will never reach his levels.
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this still don’t look right
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What if these players played for rival clubs, A disturbing thread 
1. Ronaldo & Benzema at Barcelona
1. Ronaldo & Benzema at BarcelonaShow this thread
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Arabic is one of the most romantic languages. It has at least 11 words for love and each of them conveys a different stage in the process of falling in love.
A thread on expressions of love in Arabic…
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This list includes fans of:
- Arsenal
- Manchester United
- Liverpool (maybe)
- Tottenham
- New Castle
- FC Bayern
- Barcelona (if you know what’s good for you)
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From now until May 15, I am asking every:
- Muslim
- African
- Spanish
- Brazilian
- Croatian
- Uruguayan
- fmr British colonies
- victims of British Empire
to pray every night for Real Madrid to beat Manchester City in the Champions League semi-final.
It’s life or death.
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From now until May 15, I am asking every:
- Muslim
- African
- Spanish
- Brazilian
- Croatian
- Uruguayan
- fmr British colonies
- victims of British Empire
to pray every night for Real Madrid to beat Manchester City in the Champions League semi-final.
It’s life or death.
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Every day across America, trains block crossings, sometimes for hours or days, forcing kids to crawl under them to get to school.
An 8th grader has seen plenty of trains start without warning. “I don’t want to get crushed.” propublica.org/article/trains
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whenever i notice there isn’t a muslim on my plane, i know it’s on me to save the day. get to work and pray like i’m muslim mark wahlberg on an airplane lol
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no one on this airplane knows that i saved all of us from impending doom by reciting surah al-fatiha and a bunch of duas. I am an unsung hero.
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no one on this airplane knows that i saved all of us from impending doom by reciting surah al-fatiha and a bunch of duas. I am an unsung hero.
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if there’s one profession these girls shouldn’t be doing, it’s nursing lol
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it can’t be a coincidence that nearly all the mean girls are studying that one subject…. yk the one
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