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aminsh72's profile
Λ M I N
Λ M I N
Λ M I N
@aminsh72

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Λ M I N

@aminsh72

grand dreamer, inspired by the open road and time

Toronto
aminsharifi.com
Joined March 2009

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    1. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      By now almost everyone knows what happened. It was a terrifying Monday; we watched the news unfold thinking how easily it could have been any of us walking along that stretch of Yonge street on a sunny April afternoon. I dreaded the release of the victims’ names.

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    2. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      I got home around midnight from work. As soon as I arrived I got a text from my dad saying he and my mom were out, but both their cars were at the door. I went inside and after a few minutes, it hit me. I called to ask if they were at the hospital and he said they’re coming back.

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    3. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      I stood outside anxiously and a family friend arrived, saying he’s here to pick up his mom. I replied she’s not here and my own parents are out too. He said they’re returning from the hospital. His dad was severely injured in the attack. We were at their house the night before.

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    4. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      He doesn’t even live nearby. He just happened to be there dropping off his nephew, and on his way back to the subway he was struck by the van. His left knee was severely damaged, and he sustained a broken back and skull as well. He was one of the lucky ones. He survived.

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    5. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      One of my former acquaintances wasn’t. I knew her distantly from university, having met her on a couple of occasions at campus events. I wasn’t close with her, but I instantly recognized her when the news broke that she was one of those killed on Monday.

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    6. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      The news focused on the perpetrator, a 25-year-old man who lives 5 minutes from my home, and went to high school down the street, graduating a year before me. He was arrested by Ken Lam, whose remarkable poise and restraint has been praised worldwide.

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    7. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      #TorontoStrong took off and fundraising for the victims began. Shrines of flowers and messages of condolence and sympathy adorned the sidewalks and grew larger each day. On Sunday, 25,000 people including Justin Trudeau attended a vigil despite the bitter cold. We came together.

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    8. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      I walked around the vigil, observing people of every age, race and ability mourn and pay their respect to members of the community that were no longer with us. It was dead silent. Everyone knew it could have been them. Everyone felt the loss. Everyone felt the pain.

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    9. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      Whenever something like this happens, no matter where, I always find myself wishing I was there at the time. Maybe I could have done something. Maybe I could have driven him off, maybe honked and warned some people, or given first aid. Something.. Anything..

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    10. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      But then I start to think about the why and how it can be prevented again. So I turned my attention to the attacker. A year older, same neighbourhood, not so different from me. Yet on Monday his attack killed someone I knew distantly and severely injured someone I knew very well.

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      Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

      How did he get here? How did he end up with the intention to hurt and to take lives? How could he be capable of such an atrocious act? In his Facebook post, he identified himself as an “Incel” and named another man who had used a vehicle as an attack weapon with the same motive.

      4:31 PM - 1 May 2018
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        2. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          Involuntary celibate, a group of men who are angry that women deny them their companionship. They feel entitled to having their needs and demands met, and they blame the society around them for their inability to fulfil their desires. So they seek revenge, particularly on women.

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        3. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          Seems absurd, doesn’t it? How misogynistic does one have to be to believe that he is owed companionship from women? How misguided does one’s moral compass have to be to believe that taking violent revenge is the way to deal with rejection and carve out a place in society?

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        4. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          The media reported on this online community, their motivations, their discussions and their ideology. At times, the reporting seemed to suggest that this was a new discovery and people didn’t know about this before. Maybe not by the “incel” name, but it’s nothing new to women.

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        5. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          But that’s where it stopped. No one seemed to go further and ask how do we prevent this from happening again. And I don’t mean physically, by erecting barriers and guardrails between sidewalks and streets so another perpetrator can’t jump the curb. That’s a bandaid.

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        6. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          How do we prevent another Alek from getting behind the wheel in the first place? How do we identify and prevent someone from adopting an ideology that is violent towards women in society? What can we do to prevent another attack like this from happening at the ideation level?

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        7. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          Those are the questions I have been grappling with while coping with the pain from the senseless violence and the impact it’s had on people around me. Those are the questions we all need to think about, because at the end of the day, we are responsible for our society.

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        8. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          It’s easy to relegate that responsibility and blame online communities of hateful men for inciting this violence, but it’s on us. We have created an environment where someone like Alek feels a greater sense of belonging and community among online extremists than those around him.

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        9. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          We need to teach our boys to respect women as their equals, that they’re not entitled to women, and that they’re not owed anything. We need to create an environment where men can be vulnerable and emotional without being treated like sissies, so they don’t turn to violence.

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        10. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          Men are far more likely to be violent than women, and their violence often affects women the most. I bet we will all struggle to name an attack where the perpetrator was a woman. Men’s mental health should be on all our agendas, because it affects us all.

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        11. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          Maybe, 2 years ago, if Alek had found comfort in talking to a friend after he faced isolation and rejection, he wouldn’t have been behind the wheel that day. Don’t mistake this for sympathy for him. What he did was unforgivable and I hope he spends the rest of his days in jail.

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        12. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          But I can’t help thinking it was preventable. I hope we all understand the impact we can have, and how a small gesture of kindness can go a long way. I hope this incident remains in our mind so we can remember our responsibility towards one another’s mental health.

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        13. Λ M I N‏ @aminsh72 May 1

          After the vigil ended on Sunday, I stopped by the memorial just south of Finch on Yonge street. There were hundreds of flowers, and on the sidewalk there were hearts and encouraging words written with chalk. I picked one up and added my message: Never again.

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        14. End of conversation

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