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  1. THE TRAP LORDS HAVE TAKEN THE PARK

  2. please be nice to me I was born yesterday & raised by wolves in a barn

  3. y'know for such a flirty drink name Yoo-Hoo has never once got me laid

  4. when the algorithm works, the algorithm works

  5. use a dog to pick up women, eh? [later] hey do you wanna fuck this dog with me

  6. u: i'm scared of heights me: i'm 6' 4" u: NOOOOOOOOO

  7. ME: oh magic 8 ball, will i ever find love 8 BALL:

  8. . did you name it Rift after the rift that VR tech is causing in my marriage

  9. thinking of buying a fourth shirt...

  10. they didn't name it "son"day for me to spend time with my daughter

  11. one stop shopping

  12. that's what they call me

  13. ♬ tale as old as time song as old as rhyme peeing in the sink ♬

  14. straw wine so fine

  15. [licking my finger & holding it in the air] check out this ghost its so horny

  16. less pool cues, more cool pews!! stop and go to church

  17. hell yeah imma do it doggy-style *passes away at 13 years old*

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