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Prikvačeni tweet
Excited to share the final version of a collaboration with
@AB_Wesner!! In here, we do some truly interdisciplinary work to understand why and how our thinking surrounding animal territoriality has been confused and confusing for so very long. (1/)https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0003347219304087 …Prikaži ovu nitHvala. Twitter će to iskoristiti za poboljšanje vaše vremenske crte. PoništiPoništi -
So be kind to your future self by being kind to your past self and to others, now.
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Oh and one more thing. That judgement you feel towards others now? You'll direct that at yourself when things go wrong for you. Which they will. And that will really fucking hurt. It's that self-directed judgement that nearly did me in last year.
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And the good news is, you don't have to be ruled by that fear. Find yourself a therapist, a 12-step program, a safe place where you can be held as you feel your fear. Your fear is real, but you do not have to act from it. Feel it, and move forward.
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I grew up in conditions where, because of this fear, the first response to *anything* going not-perfectly was, "what did you do wrong?" This is toxic and harmful, and I've worked very hard to escape that dynamic. Which is to say, I know what I'm talking about here.
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There are ways of building compassion. We can all practice thinking, feeling, saying, "there but for the grace of god (or the universe or stochasticity or whatever), go I."
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And so if you find yourself saying, "oh, I do *all* of these things that protect me, this won't happen to me", know that you are fooling yourself. Know that you're building a false, fear-based understanding of yourself and others, and looking down on others, without compassion.
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I've had people ask me, subsequently, "what can I do to not get treated badly like you did?" They do not like my answer, which is "nothing." We do not like feeling out of control, but the truth is that we have much less control than we believe. This is scary. Get used to it.
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I've had experiences of being treated badly by people in a situation where I did pretty much everything to protect myself, preemptively. It didn't matter. I still got treated badly. (3/)
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This isn't true. Sometimes shit happens to people who behave reasonably, who did many or all of the things that you *believe* saved you from the shit. The shit is uncorrelated, your reasoning is a post-hoc protection mechanism motivated by fear (2/)
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Some thoughts: when you see something bad happen to someone else, a natural response is "how do I stop this from happening again, to me?" A close corollary is "oh, I know this couldn't have happened to me!" (1/)
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Ambika Kamath proslijedio/la je Tweet
I have no solutions. But maybe we can look at our own trainees/students. Get to know them, support them and value them regardless of “success” by any one measure. Maybe I’m off base about motives, but heck, more compassion can’t hurt. 4/4
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Ambika Kamath proslijedio/la je Tweet
Open data can aid detection of bad data, help absolve innocent collaborators and correct the scientific evidence, so that’s important. But deterrence will have limited effect if people still feel too much fear and pressure. 3/4
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Ambika Kamath proslijedio/la je Tweet
Fear of failure can be scarier than anything for sometimes. Fear is not necessarily logical: wildly successful people can succumb to fear and can drive them to do anything to hold on to success. And probably no amount of shame or threat of punishment can erase that fear. 2/4
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Ambika Kamath proslijedio/la je Tweet
Like many in biology, I spent the week talking with friends and speculating abt what might motivate one to fake data. Simple view is ambition gone awry & disregard for consequences. But what if underneath it all is fear. 1/4
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Ambika Kamath proslijedio/la je Tweet
People always act like the hardest part of asking for help is admitting you need help in the first place, but I think the hardest part of asking for help is conquering the fear that no one will actually want to help you even if you actually ask.
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Ambika Kamath proslijedio/la je Tweet
Today’s card. Listen, you’re gonna feel bad sometimes. This is non-negotiable. The trick is not to tighten around it. Not to pile on all these extra, extreme narratives about how life is always like this & everything’s wrong. Expand and clear a space for it. Let it pass. It’s ok.pic.twitter.com/5WdV9qTm5u
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This post makes a few interesting points in the context of a lot of smugness and victim blaming. I'm disappointed in this response.https://twitter.com/EvolOdonata/status/1223832646943498240 …
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Ugh. I am 95% overwhelmed with gratitude for our community's response, but 5% grumpy about the smugness. Sarah's response is on point.https://twitter.com/EvoSarah/status/1223627997909061632 …
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Nice thread from Dan.https://twitter.com/DanielBolnick/status/1223601935674159106 …
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Thank you all for your messages of support and concern, I'm very very appreciative! 1. I'm glad we can be open about this now, it's honestly less stressful than when we couldn't be public. 2. I'm not going to be able to reply individually until Sunday at the earliest, but THANKS
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