Amanda MullOvjeren akaunt

Would sincerely love to be knocked unconscious right now

Unfortunately I am now as awake as I have ever been in my entire life

Me, waking up on my couch after falling asleep circa 10pm: oh hey let’s open twitter and see who wo—

I love on HGTV when someone apologizes to a homeowner that the laundry machines are in the bathroom. Opening a door in the bathroom and finding laundry machines is the most exciting thing you can do inside an apartment here

To be clear I am not endorsing either end of this decision, they are places I wouldn’t want to live for wildly different reasons

Palo Alto to Starkville is as big of a cultural swing as I can imagine in one of these situations lolhttps://twitter.com/slmandel/status/1224467919687446528 …

i mean this as an endorsement of the bread, which is good

for reasons that are not entirely clear there is a loaf of Breads Bakery sourdough in our kitchen and before i am done with these edits i am going to have eaten like a third of it myself, hacked apart with a butter knife and brute force

The amount of fame you can acquire as a journalist almost always tops out at these kinds of interactions, where someone you haven’t thought of in years is like “hey,,,,were you on the radio this morning?”

I remembered him being cool but I just got distracted and forgot to text him back for like two weeks

Something similar to this happened to me a couple months ago with a guy I went on a few dates with in 2013. It was extra confusing bc, as far as my own recollection goes, I was the one who ghosted himhttps://twitter.com/asteadwesley/status/1224394887375867905 …

i knew that eventually Georgia would sign a player with such a fantastic name that the whole TL would be forced to talk about it

like, what are our goals with this

oh god i just remembered the add for 5G from last night that was like "we're not the troops, nobody but the troops are the troops...but we're decidedly troop-adjacent"

is there a cogent theory on why super bowl ads are so terrible now? is it because they're all either trying to go viral or about """america"""? is this another thing social media has made worse

I had maaaaaybe two beers last night but definitely like four seltzers

A sign your friend group has transitioned to a new stage of life is when the only 12-pack of anything they finish at a Sunday night party is lacroix (and a full pitcher of water too)