hasturjuice

@allyanncah

elder god and security qa nerd played by michael keaton; occasionally reality-prone

Camberville, MA
Joined February 2009

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  1. reminder that the way posed for a photo has no bearing on her capability as a debate moderator

  2. Retweeted

    Live every day as if it were your last. Refuse to do your laundry. Burn your used socks. Be old. Have cancer. Know brief, unspeakable pain.

  3. "Sometimes I'm driving down the road and I'm like 'I forgot I'm a lesbian!'" -- on coiffure-related choices

  4. I support Bernie Sanders, but the white men who fanatically support him are still fanatical white men with all their attendant privilege.

  5. Retweeted

    Murder is a lot like supporting Donald Trump. Sometimes, it might seem like a good idea, but the people who really commit to it are nuts.

  6. "No, you have to keep eating these hormones" vs. just giving me the fucking tubal ligation already: if i were a man i'd be sterile by now

  7. QOTD: "Who were Einstein's lovers?" -- my mother voice-googling

  8. i cant breathe

  9. . As a queer person who felt the pain of refusing to truly support us until 2013, I am so hurt.

  10. i'm aware many governments in the developing world don't care either + I don't feel bad about saying this is a reasonable basic expectation

  11. hot take on Flint: it's real bad when you can't depend on your government to give a fuck about not poisoning you

  12. hasturjuice followed , , and 5 others
    • @drewmagary

      Deadspin Columnist. GQ Correspondent. Author of The Hike (out 8/2), The Postmortal, and Someone Could Get Hurt. MOTHERFUCKING CHOPPED CHAMPION.

  13. it is a testament to how much my partners like me that they will still feign interest in my barfing words about undertale after a solid week

  14. I see now why Ted Cruz is so pro-gun. If they were regulated, how would he keep shooting himself in the foot?

  15. When did Marco Rubio stop being King Shit of Fuck Mountain in terms of the Republican race?

  16. Wait, what happened to Rubio? , did I miss a memo here?

  17. . from here on i promise to only shoehorn undertale into tweets about video games 90% of the time

  18. . nah dūd, the final boss is overcoming your feelings of guilt about murdering everyone in a 20-foot radius. see also: undertale

  19. people who metasubtweet should be left to die

  20. every few days I tweet, resolve to tweet more, don't tweet, then resort to metatweeting next i'll be subtweeting myself like the trash i am

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