hasturjuice

@allyanncah

elder god and security qa nerd played by michael keaton; occasionally reality-prone

Camberville, MA
github.com/alanalynch
Joined February 2009
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  1. Jan 29

    reminder that the way posed for a photo has no bearing on her capability as a debate moderator

    1 retweet 2 likes
  2. Retweeted
    26 Jun 2015

    Live every day as if it were your last. Refuse to do your laundry. Burn your used socks. Be old. Have cancer. Know brief, unspeakable pain.

    173 retweets 491 likes
  3. Jan 26

    "Sometimes I'm driving down the road and I'm like 'I forgot I'm a lesbian!'" -- on coiffure-related choices

  4. Jan 26

    I support Bernie Sanders, but the white men who fanatically support him are still fanatical white men with all their attendant privilege.

    1 like
  5. Retweeted
    Jan 18 Lafayette, LA

    Murder is a lot like supporting Donald Trump. Sometimes, it might seem like a good idea, but the people who really commit to it are nuts.

    View conversation Hide conversation
    43 retweets 55 likes
  6. Jan 23

    "No, you have to keep eating these hormones" vs. just giving me the fucking tubal ligation already: if i were a man i'd be sterile by now

  7. Jan 22

    QOTD: "Who were Einstein's lovers?" -- my mother voice-googling

  8. Jan 20

    i cant breathe

    Embedded image permalink
    I call a lot of things “my masterpiece” but this might actually be my masterpiece
    1 like
  9. Jan 19

    . As a queer person who felt the pain of refusing to truly support us until 2013, I am so hurt.

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  10. Jan 18

    i'm aware many governments in the developing world don't care either + I don't feel bad about saying this is a reasonable basic expectation

  11. Jan 18

    hot take on Flint: it's real bad when you can't depend on your government to give a fuck about not poisoning you

  12. hasturjuice followed , , and 5 others
    • Drew Magary
      Verified account
      @drewmagary

      Deadspin Columnist. GQ Correspondent. Author of The Hike (out 8/2), The Postmortal, and Someone Could Get Hurt. MOTHERFUCKING CHOPPED CHAMPION.

    • gwyntcider
      @Gwyntyddraig

  13. Jan 17

    it is a testament to how much my partners like me that they will still feign interest in my barfing words about undertale after a solid week

  14. Jan 15

    I see now why Ted Cruz is so pro-gun. If they were regulated, how would he keep shooting himself in the foot?

  15. Jan 15

    When did Marco Rubio stop being King Shit of Fuck Mountain in terms of the Republican race?

  16. Jan 15

    Wait, what happened to Rubio? , did I miss a memo here?

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  17. Jan 14

    . from here on i promise to only shoehorn undertale into tweets about video games 90% of the time

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  18. Jan 14

    . nah dūd, the final boss is overcoming your feelings of guilt about murdering everyone in a 20-foot radius. see also: undertale

  19. Jan 14

    people who metasubtweet should be left to die

  20. Jan 14

    every few days I tweet, resolve to tweet more, don't tweet, then resort to metatweeting next i'll be subtweeting myself like the trash i am

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