hasturjuice
@allyanncah
elder god and security qa nerd played by michael keaton; occasionally reality-prone
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hasturjuice followed
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reminder that the way
@megynkelly posed for a photo has no bearing on her capability as a debate moderator1 retweet 2 likes -
hasturjuice Retweeted
Live every day as if it were your last. Refuse to do your laundry. Burn your used socks. Be old. Have cancer. Know brief, unspeakable pain.
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"Sometimes I'm driving down the road and I'm like 'I forgot I'm a lesbian!'" --
@tsmclarney on coiffure-related choices0 retweets 0 likes -
I support Bernie Sanders, but the white men who fanatically support him are still fanatical white men with all their attendant privilege.
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hasturjuice Retweeted
Murder is a lot like supporting Donald Trump. Sometimes, it might seem like a good idea, but the people who really commit to it are nuts.
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"No, you have to keep eating these hormones" vs. just giving me the fucking tubal ligation already: if i were a man i'd be sterile by now
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QOTD: "Who were Einstein's lovers?" -- my mother voice-googling
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hasturjuice Retweeted Jen Lewis
i cant breathe https://twitter.com/thisjenlewis/status/689926172898152448 …
hasturjuice added,
Jen Lewis @thisjenlewisI call a lot of things “my masterpiece” but this might actually be my masterpiece https://vine.co/v/ieJKwp9Mm1p0 retweets 1 like -
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@HRC As a queer person who felt the pain of@HillaryClinton refusing to truly support us until 2013, I am so hurt. -
i'm aware many governments in the developing world don't care either + I don't feel bad about saying this is a reasonable basic expectation
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hot take on Flint: it's real bad when you can't depend on your government to give a fuck about not poisoning you
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hasturjuice followed Drew Magary, gwyntcider, Erowid Sarah Palin and 5 others
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@drewmagaryDeadspin Columnist. GQ Correspondent. Author of The Hike (out 8/2), The Postmortal, and Someone Could Get Hurt. MOTHERFUCKING CHOPPED CHAMPION.
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it is a testament to how much my partners like me that they will still feign interest in my barfing words about undertale after a solid week
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I see now why Ted Cruz is so pro-gun. If they were regulated, how would he keep shooting himself in the foot?
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When did Marco Rubio stop being King Shit of Fuck Mountain in terms of the Republican race?
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http://www.newyorker.com/news/john-cassidy/only-republican-voters-can-stop-donald-trump-now … Wait, what happened to Rubio?
@JoePCunningham, did I miss a memo here? -
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@iresprite from here on i promise to only shoehorn undertale into tweets about video games 90% of the time -
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@iresprite nah dūd, the final boss is overcoming your feelings of guilt about murdering everyone in a 20-foot radius. see also: undertale0 retweets 0 likes -
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every few days I tweet, resolve to tweet more, don't tweet, then resort to metatweeting next i'll be subtweeting myself like the trash i am
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hasturjuice
Home Town Harbinger
Joe Cunningham