Wanna feel old? This is what the kid from The Omen looks like now
Alistair Coleman
@alistaircoleman
Disinformation and North Korea wonk at and BBC Verify. Former internet celebrity, former blue tick, a bit
& a bit
. Arsenal.
Alistair Coleman’s Tweets
I’m still seeing quite a few posts asking why Joe Biden has “a Chinese bodyguard”.
He doesn’t. That is David Cho, he is Korean-American, one of the most respected and experienced members of the Secret Service who has worked for administrations both Republican and Democrat.
Well, this has aged badly.
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Replying to @alistaircoleman
“Right them Zouma, I want you using the width, get in behind them and leave half a dead mouse in the goalmouth” #KIDWHU
They missed a complete open goal. WHY NOT RAMBO NUMBER FIVE? twitter.com/slashfilm_feed
This Tweet is unavailable.
"Do you think people will know that says arise?"
"Yeah, go for it"
It was a sad day when the World Taekwondo Federation voted to change its name to World Taekwondo, because people like me though pictures like this are supremely funny.
Tuesday week is the 7th anniversary of Fenton. Jesus Christ.
Replying to
Here’s David Cho receiving the Exceptional Service Gold Medal in 2019.
dhs.gov/exceptional-se
"You let Dougal do a funeral?!"
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I will Chair the United Nations Security Council meeting on Iran next week!
This amazing photo of Emmanuel Macron was the work of Alexei Nikolsky of TASS news agency. Credit where it's due - it's a superb capture. #WorldCupFinal
There are claims that the bearded guy in this photo inside the Capitol is Antifa because of his hand tattoo.
It's the Outsider's Mark from the 2012 video game Dishonored. He's a gamer.
dishonored.fandom.com/wiki/Outsider%
Scottish League Two - final table
East Fife 4th, Forfar 5th
The Human League look like there’s a new landlord at the Queen Vic in EastEnders who’s trying to keep a lid on his complicated love life.
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ALT
Replying to
People actually believe that he has bodyguards supplied by China, and/or his “CCP Handler” went to the inauguration to keep an eye on their asset. Nope. He’s a bonafide decorated American hero.
Absolutely dying at this courtroom sketch of Wayne Rooney.
I’ve found the worst thing in the world - a Costa coffee machine that plays coffee shop noises while it makes your drink, so you can pretend you’re not all alone at the 3rd floor coffee machine.
"What's that?"
"Blue Passports"
"Nah, I said bloop arse ports. Arse ports for bloops"
#moreiconicthanbluepassports
ITV Great British Bake Off
Dermot O'Leary: "So why did you apply to come on Bake Off?"
Baker: "Me nan died, and she loved cake"
[Manly hug]
That had a go at Daniel Craig over a perceived lack of manliness for carrying a baby in a papoose. Yet here he is, moisturising.
Here's the moment Russia's RT went off the air on UK screens at 1545 after EU sanctions took down its satellite uplink from Luxemburg. #UkraineWar
Let’s get our retaliation in first:
🔸Yes, it has been adequately tested
🔸No, mRNA vaccines don’t overwrite your DNA
🔸No, Bill Gates hasn’t put a microchip in it
🔸No, #COVID19 is not a hoax
When you accidentally kick the seat in front of you on the rail replacement bus
Regret to report that simple Berkshire village folk have crucified the Queen.
I’m the son of a virologist, the old man has strong opinions about cruise liners.
Replying to
"And here's another reason why you're wrong and Hegel is right..."
And Echo and the Bunnymen to clamp down on people pissing in doorways
I’m going to put it out there that ’s current state of infectious, unbridled joy is the only thing that is holding this planet together right now. We must never let it end.
Happy tenth birthday to this unfortunate series of events.
Putin's reached that bit in the computer game when you're about to be sent on a side-quest
The Kraken - Sidney Powell's lawsuit that will supposedly blow Biden out of the water has been released. And it's not a great start, managing to spell "district" incorrectly twice, differently, in the opening sentence
Fact check: Nowhere is the world is achieving herd immunity from COVID-19. (Source: Science)
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'As it becomes clearer that the British population will soon achieve herd immunity, people will begin to ask tough questions of the Government,' writes @toadmeister telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/07/1
It’s not Little Boy, then
Tomorrow is the first anniversary of the Four Seasons Total Landscaping incident. How will you be marking this momentous day in world history?
So, B&Q are selling off their unused social distancing arrows in the ‘reduced to clear’ bin. I’ve literally no idea what I’m going to do with these, but you can’t argue at 10p.
That time I found the saddest book in the world in a charity shop 😭
I am being accused of putting this on the notice board. I did not put it on the notice board.
Facebook has reminded me that it is eight years today since I saw Sideshow Bob’s lorry on the Swallowfield Bypass.
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I believe I have found the world's most boring commemorative wall plaque
There are misunderstandings, and there's Sir Alexander Glen
Russia's RIA-Novosti news agency accidentally published its victory piece on Saturday, and swiftly deleted it. But the web archive remembers, and oh boy (Google translate is your friend).
"Now this problem is gone - Ukraine has returned to Russia."
Replying to
Getting the author’s name wrong on the cover is a pretty bad error, but it’s still not my favourite typo.
Particitrousers - the result of a lazy search-replace when switching the manuscript from US to UK English.
Speaking of conspiracy theories, it’s four years and one day since the Notre Dame fire, and four years since this spectacular hot take.
🎵 Your own inflatable Jesus
Someone to fill with air
Someone who cares 🎶
Replying to
Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman
This act of kindness may be remembered when the robots rise up against their fleshy masters. I suggest we all do the same.
Replying to
FACT: The lyrics to the Mr Bean theme are Latin for “Behold the man, who is a bean”
Breaking: Baby found
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There's some news coming soon......
Horrific commute this morning, our train was FOUR MINUTES late into Waterloo. We had to eat the weakest passenger on the train and drink from the toilet. #Snowmageddon
Wigan. The year is 1899, and never before or since have the words “using her fists in scientific fashion” been used to such delight.
Replying to
Here's the uncropped version of this photo. The Philly Antifa dot org tag is correct - it's from an article on their website naming him and claiming that he is a neo-Nazi activist. So if it *is* the same person, you've gone scored an own goal.
If there's an opposite to nominative determinism, this is it
That face when you walk into the kitchen and forgot why you were there.
People keep telling The New Owner that this would happen, it happened from day one, and it’s still happening. The New Owner doesn’t seem to care.
New from me: A video claiming to show bikers praying for Donald Trump after his Covid diagnosis was actually shot in South Africa back in August.
bbc.co.uk/news/live/worl
Replying to
"Actually, you'll find that people who are not chefs also kiss like that"
My father, Professor Jonathan Coleman, died peacefully at home this afternoon. I’ve never been entirely sure how old he was, but I think he was 86. Or 85. He’d been living with dementia for years, and was patiently cared for by my stepmother. I feel strangely calm about it.
Just seen the Yellow Vests hanging round Westminster called Neon Nazis and that’s their name from now on
Replying to
Horned Guy is Jake Angeli, a well-known QAnon activist from Arizona. So he's not Antifa either.
Why is there a vet AND a doctor in Peppa Pig?
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Donald Trump’s Instagram tribute to John McCain comes with a picture of... Donald Trump.
Those well-meaning but incorrect "Suicide figures are up 200% since lockdown" are doing the rounds again. As we reported in July, there are [still] no figures to back up this claim.
But if you are struggling, please reach out to friends, family, or call Samaritans on 116 123.
British politics tonight. I have literally no idea what’s happening. #Brexit
[Design meeting]
"Do you think that looks enough like an inhaler?"
"Yeah, 100%, let's go with that"
🚨URGENT: There’s a FAKE video with BBC branding doing the rounds about the Kramatorsk station attack, saying that Ukraine was responsible. THIS IS NOT A BBC VIDEO. IT IS A FAKE.
Replying to
“Right them Zouma, I want you using the width, get in behind them and leave half a dead mouse in the goalmouth” #KIDWHU
The light comes out the other side
Here's the Daily Star page that thinks the Navy's new five-inch gun is only five inches long (ht )
Left the radio on at home to keep the dogs calm while we were at the shops
[Car radio]: Now on BBC Radio Four, The History of the Doorbell
I usually cover up the handles on posts like this, but “[US/UK/White Helmets/Ukraine nationalists] are going to stage a false-flag chemical weapons attack” is one of Moscow’s longest-running disinformation tropes.
Kim Yo-jong, sister of the Supreme Leader and alternate politburo member, continues her habit of lurking in the background at major events. World-class lurking.
After last night's rant about measles and vaccines, can I now ask that you DON'T PUT WEEK-OLD PISS IN YOUR EYES? Thank you.
I see Corbyn's fallen for the office "Fancy-dress Friday" prank again
Does a priest at a nuclear power plant say a critical Mass?






