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  1. Ignoring the Bernie phone banking rules because I know what the American people really need to hear

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  2. Tom Brady should get an Oscar for taking the air out of the ball. I’m glad the patriots lost

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  3. Show this thread
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  4. Dude have you ever seen Rick and morty? You remind me of both Rick and morty

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  5. They should make seltzer so carbonated that it explodes

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  6. Hello I am a writer and my name is Ben Learner

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  7. Only a matter of time until we learn that the Berlin blockchain community is funded by the kremlin

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  8. Snacking at work. These Snyders of Hanover ‘Pretzel Rods’ will be the death of me

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  9. Think about upcoming Valentine's day. Focus on self-optimization for the next 18 days.

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  11. Marriage story more like divorce story

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  12. Thanks MGMT, but getting electrocuted was the original “electric feel”

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  14. Need to watch the Thanos movie so I understand reality better

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  15. It's peanut butter and jelly time

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  16. For lunch I would really enjoy a rapini panini with a side of linguini

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  17. What’s your social security number? Haha just kidding

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  18. I’m pretty good at candy crush

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  19. Retweeted
    Jan 17

    "Upon further investigation, It is no accident that EDM rose to popularity immediately following the financial crisis of 2008."

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  20. Thanks very much to for stellar editing

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