Alexandra Wittchen

@alexwittchen

Sr. Account Planner at Brownstein Group doing all things IKEA, XFINITY Mobile & NLL. Occasionally gets to chase frisbees. Performed at a TEDx once.

Philadelphia
Joined September 2010
196 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Jun 9

    Also, to be clear, I'd take a hung Parliament over the room of micropenises we have running our country any day.

    1 like
  2. Jun 9

    What's that old British saying? Better to have a hung parliament than a room full of micropenises? Yeah, that's it.

    1 reply 1 like
  3. Retweeted
    Jun 8

    I got stuck on a red plastic slide and while I wiggled free so many humans shouted at me please do not shout at me while I am so vulnerable.

    12 replies 555 retweets 1,768 likes
  4. Retweeted
    Jun 7

    People always ask: How do I tweet all day and still get work done? My secret is, I don't get any work done.

    9 replies 19 retweets 136 likes
  5. Jun 8

    John McCain: "It would intensely arouse me." Americans everywhere:

    1 like
  6. Jun 8

    Ironic. The same Senators who've spent the past 6 months not standing up to Trump are the ones chastising Comey for not standing up to Trump

    1 like
  7. Jun 5

    Magic Mike XXL is the best byproduct of the women's movement.

    1 like
  8. Jun 1

    Yo but really.

    Congressman: god will take care of climate change. God: bitch I sent you scientists.
    2 likes
  9. Retweeted
    May 31

    People in covfefe houses shouldn't throw covfefe.

    Crooked Hillary Clinton now blames everybody but herself, refuses to say she was a terrible candidate. Hits Facebook & even Dems & DNC.
    31,825 replies 317,521 retweets 719,886 likes
  10. Retweeted
    May 22

    I PHOTOSHOPPED SARUMAN INTO TRUMP'S ORB PICTURE AND IT'S NOT EVEN WEIRD

    2,728 replies 148,106 retweets 274,781 likes
  11. Retweeted
    May 14

    r u a software update bc not now

    48 replies 12,523 retweets 18,264 likes
  12. Retweeted
    May 18

    You can always tell a Milford man...

    41 replies 1,409 retweets 3,893 likes
  13. May 18

    Not sorry.

    Hey , if I don't show on Saturday, it's because bought Lime-A-Ritas.
    1 reply
  14. Retweeted
    May 17

    Here at arbys we're fine w the man romper bc who fucking cares if you have to get totally naked in order to piss? Not arbys. Eat arbys

    33 replies 2,906 retweets 7,497 likes
  15. Retweeted
    May 17

    I bet that Donald Trump doesn't even cry in the shower like a normal person.

    9 replies 24 retweets 97 likes
  16. May 17

    Snapchat filters have me seriously consider if I would look better as a small furry animal on a daily basis.

  17. May 17

    This sums up how I feel about the male romper situation:

    1 reply 4 likes
  18. May 11

    NEVER CHANGE, SPICER.

    This Tweet is unavailable.
    1 retweet 1 like
  19. Retweeted
    May 10

    me on twitter, 2007: I just had a great sandwich me on twitter, 2017: impeach the motherfucker before democracy as a concept is forever gone

    22 replies 913 retweets 3,048 likes
  20. May 11

    "You won't regret it" are usually the last words said before you immediately start regretting something.

    3 likes

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