Guys, no "Rodeo Sex."
That's when you do her doggy-style, whisper in her ear "Your sister was better," and try to hang on for eight seconds.
#ThingsToAvoidDuringSex
Follow
Alex Kaseberg
@AlexKaseberg
FOLLOWS YOU
Mom asked if I had been bad in Kindergarten, I said; "A little bit bad, but a whole lot funny."
Alex Kaseberg’s Tweets
Did you see Madonna at the Grammys?
She's had a lot of work done. Not that he would ever do this, but if Will Smith did slap her, he would break his hand.
There were three Chinese spy balloons during Trump's administration.
Gen. Kelly tried to brief Trump but he wouldn't listen so they kept him out of the loop for fear he would do something stupid.
1
1
Did you see Madonna's face at the Grammys?
I'm starting to think Madonna likes getting attention.
1
At the Grammys, rappers Quevo and Offset got in a scuffle about the tribute to the murdered Takeoff.
Rumor has it Monqaywrench and Soupbone were also involved but probably not since I made them up.
At the Grammys, Cardi-B won for "WAP," in the category of "Best Song About a Vagina's Lubrication Properties."
1
A Madonna biopic has been scrapped due to the difficulty and rude behavior of the 64-year-old petulant diva.
Why are they surprised? This is a woman who, in "League of their Own," had an entire Indiana town rally to kick her out of town.
Saw Madonna at the Grammys.
When did she turn into Imelda Marcos?
1
Just horrible how that US fighter jet shot down the balloon boy.
Awkward moment at the Grammys when Will Smith hauled back and slapped Kid Rock.
(Smth has slapped Kid Rock and Chris Rock, but somewhow I think Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is safe)
I love all dogs but...There is nothing like the sweet gentle soul of an old dog 😔😔
249
1,729
21.9K
Nice. 🥃
Quote Tweet
Thank you, thank you, thank *you.* Practice does make perfect. Right, Dave? #SBLVII
0:30
1.4M views
3
6
103
The refs in the Bengals -Chiefs game were horrific. They blew more calls than they got right.
Somebody needs to remind them nobody watched an NFL game to watch refs yammer about an inconsequential holding or interference call.
Enjoy your weekend 🩶
24
59
463
All of the refs in the Bengals-Chiefs game should be fired.
(And I don't care about either team)
1
The crew ruined the #AFCChampionshipGame. It’s no wonder #NFLRigged is trending. Absolutely trash officiating.
45
260
1,333
Show this thread
Eagles are going to win the Super Bowl.
Congratulations to Head Coach John Olive on his 600th win tonight! The ball club was fired up in the locker room after the 67-64 overtime win over San Marcos.
Coach Olive’s record in his 26 years at Torrey Pines is now 600-196 (75%).
#THEGOLDSTANDARD
10
30
194
Donald Trump said the Taliban cannot fight at night because they don't have binoculars.
As stupid Trump comments go, this ranks somewhere between suggesting injecting bleach for COVID and building an impenetrable dome.
If you can't make one sheet of paper towel last two days are you really a single man in America?
A Madonna biopic has been scrapped due to the difficulty and bad behavior of the 64-year-old petulant diva.
What a shock. Next thing they'll try to tell us is Madonna has had some work done on her.
In his 44-minute rambling speech at singer Diamond's funeral, Donald Trump spent about 15 seconds mentioning Diamond.
The only good news is that Trump did not then bury her on his golf course.
1
3
Ohio claims to have the oldest living dog, a 23-year-old chihuahua named Spike.
They attribute the dog's old age to its owner's inability to do basic math.
Donald Trump said he could have a peace deal with Ukraine in 24 hours.
Keep in mind, six months ago, Trump thought Ukraine was was a company that rented cranes.
4
Whichever one is not playing.
Quote Tweet
What's your favourite Madonna album? twitter.com/ste_speed/stat…
2
It takes almost zero effort to take a Bill Murray's "Caddy Shack" Carl Spackler imitation and turn it into a Donald Trump imitation:
"Cinderella boy, out of nowhere about to be the Masters Champion even with the witch hunt. Sad."
Who wore it better??
2,173
2,554
11.2K
I’ll now be saying ‘feckin’ and ‘shite’, more, in accordance with the way my ancestors would have wanted me to.
1
1
3
14h
There was an earthquake off the coast of Malibu.
It was pretty strong, it actually moved part of Cher's face.
(Great minds think alike)
Quote Tweet
Today a 4.2 magnitude earthquake struck near Malibu, California. The shaking was so hard that one lane of the Pacific Coast Highway was temporarily closed due to large chunks falling off Cher's plastic surgery.
2
The US is sending Ukraine 31 tanks.
It was really thoughtful, Ukraine sent us a nice "Tank You" letter.
1
Now George Santos admits he lied about funding his own campaign.
So besides lying about his campaign finances, his religion, his jobs, his college, his volleyball prowess and his mother dying in 9/11, Santos has told the truth about everything.
2
2
Paris Hilton had a baby via a surrogate.
Prior to this, Paris thought a surrogate was an Italian sports car.
1
5
The US is giving Ukraine 31 tanks.
This upset Vladimir Putin so much, he threw three military aides out of a tall window.
2