Lexi  🦄

I want to be super good at 2 & 3 especially, v satisfying to see a problem someone didn't think to fix and give them the solution, and also I like fashion a lot and gifting other ppl clothes that suit them is a fun way to make use of what I know about style.

Wife got me bluetooth noise cancelling headphones for Christmas that filled both 1 & 2, I have working headphones that are ok already and didn't realize how much noise cancelling and cordless would be useful for me, so they were the perfect gift.

Best gifts: something you like but the more luxurious version you wouldn't buy yourself, something you didn't know you needed but is really useful and improves your life, something someone with greater expertise in a shared interest picked out for you.

Like 70% of ppl who have pets should just not have pets.

Torn between being one of those "I wish people dressed nicer" people and being really grumpy at "I wish people dressed nicer people."

Then there's how devalued work like cleaning, childcare, cooking, caregiving, and etc is. And if your personal development isn't in the direction everyone else wants it to be, you can be punished socially for it even.

It really irks me that only certain kinds of work and accomplishment are socially rewarded. It took me a lot of work to be less mentally ill but other people don't give credit for how hard it was to earn my own happiness and well being.

Extreme femininity on an attractive women is considered desirable if a bit vapid, extreme femininity on an unattractive women is considered laughable and almost grotesque.

At that point where I know where a few emotional landmines are and I should really be trying to disarm them but it's like reorganizing your house, you have to make it messier to fix it and sometimes you run out of energy in the middle and have to live with the chaos for a while.

With my own dating experiences, I just got lucky happening to find someone early on who grew along with me so we ended up being good partners for each other but without simultaneously dating other people that probs wouldn't have happened and most ppl aren't poly.

How do you figure out what you want without a lot of messing up and spending time on things that weren't good for you? What do you prioritize in a partner? When do you decide to give up on a relationship in hopes there is a better one out there?

But giving relationships time to see if they work or not is important. But when you have a time based deadline, how much time do you spend exploring, getting to know yourself, having fun? How long deciding whether a relationship is worth sealing the deal or moving on?

If you want kids, there is a much smaller time window for finding your life partner (esp for women who want biokids), but it's also extra important to select the right person bc you now owe it to your kids to try rlly hard give them two good parents with a healthy relationship.

The more I think about dating and selecting a good long term partner, the more confused I am about how one actually strategically approaches it while also not just being a cold bottom line pursuing jerk.

This is how I work too and it's incredibly frustrating.https://twitter.com/unicornthorn/status/1202707676494319616 …