The reason you can't solve incels by making sure lonely guys get enough sex is even more basic than the many moral and safety issues. Incel is not a relationship status. It's an identity.
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I know way too much about these guys because
@DavidFutrelle has been writing about them forever and I would hang around and poke the man-trolls on his blog along with@pecunium,@cloudy_yah,@weirwoodtreehug,@Kootiepatra, and friends.1 reply 4 retweets 35 likesShow this thread -
There was this one guy who hung around who referred to himself as an "incel." When we talked to him, it turned out he had a fuckbuddy. He was getting all the sex he wanted, and had been for months.
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And yet he still identified as an incel. Because it wasn't the exact kind of sex he wanted in the context of the ideal relationship he wanted, and because he hadn't always been able to have sex in the past, he still felt like he was, in principle, a guy who couldn't get sex.
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Incels fall into this toxic community at a time in their lives when they feel dissatisfied with their relationships and resentful of women, and the community encourages them to base their entire identity as a person around that fact.
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Being in the incel community incentivizes these guys to NOT fix their relationship problems, or if they do find a relationship, to continue to resent women and believe they're not getting what they deserve. Because that's who they are. Their world revolves around that status.
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This is an important way incels differ from other groups of people who want to be in a different place in life (eg, couples trying to conceive): It's natural to leave those groups as your status changes, either by achieving your goal or accepting that you won't. Incels don't.
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Even if we DID have some kind of dystopian forced girlfriend assignment program, these guys would be resentful that they couldn't get a girl without the program, or about which girl they got or how she acted.
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Incels choose to define themselves based on their hatred and resentment of women. Women didn't cause that and nothing women could do would change it.
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Replying to @gwenckatz @WriterGirlC
Thanks Gwen. Most of these guys are stuck in a mire of depression, social anxiety, maybe physical/mental impairment. They've been branded as undesirable and take that pain out on the Stacys and Chads of the world. In truth I don't think it's about the sex, but rather acceptance.
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Okay, incel.
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