this is my new little friend (don’t get scared)
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ALB
@albinwonderland
ALB’s Tweets
every strange man who taps me on the shoulder and motions for me to take my headphones out only to tell me something useless should be fined $50
Elated to publicly announce that Niko and I are officially married wives 💞
meeting you while travelling in a different country felt like fate choosing me, but deciding to get married was taking happiness into my own hands and choosing it every single day 💗
me as a teen: haha, Kristen Stewart, twilight, can you believe it, one facial expression, and they cast HER! also I don’t even CARE about that movie
me at 27: oh it was because of internalized mysogyny,........... and wanting to bang her
the most freeing moment for me as an adult woman was when I realized that there are people who won’t like me no matter how nice, accommodating and caring I am
my American wife will shush people at the movie theatre... as a Canadian I am in awe of her. I am only capable of a threatening half-turn around in my seat with a side of annoyed glance... how can she just full on shush people??? I love her, my hero
Don’t forget- your cats know it’s Valentine’s Day too and they are each legally owed fourteen (14) extra kisses on their head
your gf doesn’t want a carefully selected present, she wants you to take her to an art supply store and to have you whisper “pick out whatever you want, it’s on me”
marriage is about partnership. My job in the partnership is to keep getting myself new cups of water and adding them to my bedside table and my wife’s job is to keep mysteriously removing them
please stop asking queer couples “which of you is the top and which is the bottom” and instead start asking “which of you keeps adding cups of water to your beside table and which of you keeps mysteriously removing them”
celebrating 6 years of marriage today 🥂
Photos by Ishkhan Ghazarian
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I don't even have to arrange photos like this, I just walk in a room and there they are. it's gay still life
There aren't enough Twitter characters to fully express what this means to us- so pictures help.
Our photos were done by @PaulHillierdesu 💞
there's this weird languish I see thrown at female influencers/streamers/sex workers, that somehow their job is easy?? and it's always conflated with "they make money being hot" like LMAO ok but, even IF, do you actually know how much work goes into being Professionally Hot
I NEED YOU ALL TO KNOW MY WIFE JUST CAME IN HERE SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH MY “CAKE” WHICH IS AN ENTIRE BLOCK OF BRIE CHEESE WITH A CANDLE IN IT
IM LOSING MY MIND!!!!!!!!
why doesn’t Hallmark make super cutesy Halloween romance movies? you’re leaving money on the table fellas
love this new thing where I turn Animal Crossing off and put my switch away and my brain still keeps trying to tell me it hears the whoosh sound of balloons in the sky
"Why isn't there yaoi of them?"
my wife just said out loud, regarding the two burglars from Home Alone, out loud, to me to my own face
Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose!!
gouache on watercolour paper 🖤
As Barbie says, "Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from threat of force!"
when I was a teen I cut this 2006 Tim Walker for Juicy Couture ad out of a magazine and hung it next to my bed, something about it spoke directly to my soul. I still think about it all the time 😭
a group of pickup artist bros were hanging outside of Starbucks and as Niko was walking out with a coffee they formed a circle around her and said “well you look friendly!”
and she loudly said “i am NOT friendly” and pushed through them 😂😂 I love this woman
stay dead and out of this world
#ShadowsFX
Today we're celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary 💞 I love you so much , you're my dream come true
Photos by Ishkhan Ghazarian
a 4yr old boy lost his MIND at my jack-o-lantern handbag while I was getting groceries today.. he was clutching his head saying “AMAZING... YOUR PURSE IS AMAZING”
his mom was like “I’m so sorry” and I was like “oh don’t be” 😂😂
wow they took lord of the rings off of Netflix, what am I supposed to do now??? Watch my extended edition bluray box set? watch my extended dvd box set that I refused to get rid of when we combined movie collections? watch the digital versions I have? watch the
ladies it's not real until she offers to build you the calico critters 35th anniversary deluxe premium home
our Maymay passed away today. She got very sick very quickly and we nursed her night and day hoping we could get her through this, but she was ready to go. We held her in our arms as she left. everyone who met her fell in love with her and the grief hangs so heavy.
when your straight friends start talking about the annoying shit their boyfriends have been doing and how unhappy they are
just experienced the closest thing to being tagged in a post in real life, which was a really sweet girl coming up to us on the subway and saying “you two look like those houses in California”
2009 vs 2019
it’s good I got my signature colour figured out so early 😂😂 the confidence to wear it came much later though!
what if... me and my wife were self isolating for a few weeks in a tiny apartment... and there is only one bed 😳
I haven’t seen anyone talking about this yet and I desperately need to because I’m SO EXCITED ABOUT IT!! The Witches remake: Set in 1960s Alabama, director of Death Becomes Her and written in part by Del Toro?!??? If there has to be a remake.... let it be this
we lost Dawn today. I don’t have words to explain how much I loved her. She was my best friend. She slept on my chest every single night. I’m grateful I got to hold her while we said goodbye, I promised her I would be there till the end and I got to keep my promise.
They film movies and tv in our neighbourhood all the time, this time they used tons of flowers and gave them away to locals after they were done! What a nice treat 🥰
Thinking about my outfits from the last two years of Pride as I brainstorm ideas for this year... do I find a way to wear those boots again as a theme and build a look around that? Or just go for something completely new?
I lost a bunch of subscribers since posting my gay rp video and like.... did they not know??? This whole time did they not know 😂😂
5 year old me dressed up for "career day" as an artist vs. adult me working full time as an artist 😭😭😭
any animal: *yawns*
me: awww big yawn huh!!
any animal: *stretches*
me: awww big stretch!!
I do a lot of wife posting and here are the reasons
1) Niko is amazing and I like to point out how amazing she is
2) when I was young and dating dudes I felt like I couldn't ask for what I want/was made to feel high maintenance. I want you to know- you don't have to settle.
all your favourite friends are here! the phone is ringing, it’s the New Horizons bunch ✨ 🌴
#AnimalCrossing
life with chronic illness is just developing new symptoms or entirely new illnesses all the time and just being like Yeah, it’s no big deal. I just randomly faint sometimes now. Anyways,
Death has come to your little town, Sheriff. Now you can either ignore it, or you can help me to stop it 🔪
(gouache on watercolour paper)
If you’re around someone who apologizes all the time (maybe too much), don’t say “stop apologizing”, they’ll just feel bad and want to say sorry for THAT 😩
It’s more helpful to say something like “Hey, it’s all good! We’re okay, you’re doing just fine” 😌
I got a rare recipe to make a white lily record player and I’m in loooove
honestly could receive all the success physically possible and I would still feel she deserves more. Incredible performer, singer, person. twitter.com/filmofcolour/s
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I really liked my hair last night and I will never be able to exactly recreate it so let’s just enjoy
Priest: Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today to join these two women in holy matrimony
Me: I love you, bitch
Her: I'm never gonna stop loving you, bitch
Replying to
full outfit ft. dress I chopped 4 inches off of the night before 😅
All I wanna do is cheer my friends on and have a really lovely cozy house where people can stay over and feel fancy because there’s guest pyjamas and make them great meals based on their own dietary requirements that I will keep track of in a small book in the kitchen
claims that feminists are using this event for their own agenda are ABSOLUTELY TRUE. their agenda is: they want women to stop being murdered
them: what's your name
me: ALB
them: what's your REAL name
me: ALB is my legal real name, it's my initials. You can call me Angelina if you want though, that's fine
them: no, what's your REAL ACTUAL name
me: *having my clearly established boundaries ignored* ... im baby
If you can't summon the flames directly from hell, store-bought is fine!
being a pet owner is like being at war. I’m always trying to clean their eye boogies and they always hate me trying to clean their precious eye boogies
kind of fucked up how I’m not immediately good at things on my first try... smh...
