FRASIER: If you must know, Dad, I’ve decided to run the game glitchless. MARTIN: Aw, c’mon, Son—at least take some shortcuts by going out of bounds! NILES: Maris always says 100% doesn’t count unless you get the true ending. FRASIER: Wise words from the living end, herself(!)
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FRASIER: Not what possible reason could you have for tendering your resignation as moderator of the Discord? NILES: Nobody loves a good ribbing more than I, but it’s been *days* since my innocent typo, yet everyone is *still* responding to everything I say with, “Mario Krat”.
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FRASIER: Perhaps you could just ask some of the other moderators to enforce better behavior. NILES: I did. They changed the channel topic to “Mario Krat”. FRASIER: Ridiculous. What kind of humor-deficient Neanderthal would find that funny? MARTIN [LAUGHING]: Mario Krat!
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MARTIN: Ah, I’m sorry, Son, I shouldn’t laugh. We gamers have to stick together. FRASIER: Oh, come now, Dad, I hardly think your Candy Crush addiction qualifies you as a *true* gamer.
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NILES: Frasier, how dare you so blithely disregard our father’s skills? MARTIN: Thank you, Niles. NILES: Why, just yesterday I witnessed him make a move that was declared “Sodalicious!” [NILES AND FRASIER ATTEMPT TO STIFLE GIGGLES.]
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MARTIN: Oh, I get it. Your old dad is just a “filthy casual”, is that it? Well, you boys might go pretty hard when you’re in front of your computers, but let me ask you something—can you play your game anywhere? Even when you’re on the toilet? [SILENCE.] MARTIN: I thought so.
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MARTIN: But I bought you the costumes! FRASIER: Dad, I’m sure the last thing my viewers want to see is two grown men dressed-up as the Mario Brothers. NILES: Well said. DAPHNE: What a shame… I always had a soft spot for that Luigi. NILES: Although maybe we’re being too hasty.
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FRASIER: You seem in good spirits, Dad. MARTIN: I’ll say—I finally beat that old game you gave me. FRASIER: Wonderful! Though I think you mean that you “completed” it. MARTIN: What’s the difference? FRASIER: The original conditions of play didn’t include the ability to save, so…
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MARTIN: You’re telling me that even though I found all the secrets, and emptied every dungeon, and made my way to the final boss and killed him… None of that counts, because I hit “save” once in a while? FRASIER: They’re not my rules— MARTIN: Ah, “save” your breath.
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FRASIER: Forget what I think, or, indeed, what the initial developers intended for the player. If you consider yourself to have won a victory against this game… I suppose I shouldn’t argue. MARTIN: Oh, how big of you(!) Now—are there any more games with this Zelda guy?
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NILES: Actually, Dad, Zelda is the Princess. MARTIN: I guess it takes one to know one.
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End of conversation
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