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Dec 23, 2020

Ali Kinani was 9 years old when he was shot in the head by Blackwater guards on September 16, 2007 in Baghdad Iraq.

@realDonaldTrump

just pardoned his killers. I represented Ali’s and five other families in a civil lawsuit against Blackwater and Erik Prince for the killings.

1,780

40.1K

52.4K

Listening to

driving home is like a tasty strawberry right there on my satellite radio.

Jan 19

Interestingly, any drag Queen report - which I haven’t yet heard - wouldn’t bother me at all. It’s everything else that makes the person a disgusting human.

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George Santos

@Santos4Congress

Jan 19

The most recent obsession from the media claiming that I am a drag Queen or “performed” as a drag Queen is categorically false. The media continues to make outrageous claims about my life while I am working to deliver results. I will not be distracted nor fazed by this.

Jan 15

I worked during undergrad and paid for my own education. I got married. Went to law school. Worked 30+ hours a week during law school. We saved every penny we could. We got pregnant in law school and used our savings to buy a house in a neighborhood that was too far away.

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I have a serious question. Where did y’all get money to move, put down deposits on apts, other residency relocation expenses?

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Jan 3

As a damn lawyer, I can affirmatively represent that this is no such fucking rule. twitter.com/JohnHRuiz/stat

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I now know a victim of random gun violence. A family is forever damaged. What a senseless tragedy.

A lawyer I knew was shot and killed yesterday. He was a young vibrant married man with children. I am in shock. This will change our community.

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Josh Chapin

@JoshChapinABC11

Two people are dead tonight inside this office of Riddle and Brantley. All signs point to this being a murder suicide at this hour. Goldsboro police investigating #abc11

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A Damn Lawyer Retweeted

jeremy scahill

@jeremyscahill

I can think of some other U.S. presidents—and vice presidents—who also should be prosecuted for their crimes. Under the American Exceptionalism doctrine, torture, kidnapping, assassination, and mass killing are not considered crimes when done to the sound of patriotic trumpets.

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Dec 18, 2022

Well that was a turn in momentum.

Dec 16, 2022

This has gotten really boring.

Dec 12, 2022

The visitor pass in my suit pocket today is dated April 9, 2019 because COVID. The last time I wore this one.

Dec 6, 2022

Condensed deposition transcripts go either: 1⬇️3⬇️ 2↗️4 -OR- 1➡️2↙️ 3➡️4 And the inconsistency of the format is pretty dang frustrating. 1-3 2-4 is the worst. Who reads like that?

Dec 5, 2022

Dabo after this weekend knowing he shoulda made that change three weeks earlier.

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Dec 4, 2022

MLB HOF’er Gaylord Perry has died @ age 84. Gaylord was from tiny Williamston, NC. My Dad is 85 and grew up in tiny Ahoskie, NC. One of my Dad’s favorite stories is breaking up a no hitter Gaylord was throwing in HS with a dribbler hit late in the game. He got a hit off a HOF’er!

Nov 20, 2022

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Nov 16, 2022

Somebody’s been looking at my calendar.

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Gabe Ross

@gabrielmbross

Nov 16, 2022

Replying to @ItsMattsLaw

Every lawyer has: 2) a plan to get their shit together, as soon as I get through this project and the other thing, probably week after next, I think.

Nov 16, 2022

Baxter is pretty much deaf now, and it really bothers me that he can’t hear me tell him that he’s a good boy anymore.

Why does

need to have “parody” in His Twitter profile

Now THIS is worth $8.00

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sixthformpoet

@sixthformpoet

Jun 9, 2019

ONE My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]

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Nov 14, 2022

Unless, of course, you are called to testify about your involvement in trying to overturn it. In which case you should buckle up - the ride is just starting.

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Lindsey Graham

@LindseyGrahamSC

Nov 14, 2022

One of the takeaways from 2022 midterms:

On the GOP side, the 2020 election should finally be over.

Nov 11, 2022

The original R. J. Reynolds building in the city that built lung cancer.

Nov 11, 2022

Stages of Panic: Showing up for a deposition and there’s no one else here - then checking the notice & seeing it was noticed for a different city - then realizing you’re looking at the notice form the original date and you’re at the rescheduled deposition & in the right place.

This is going to hard to comeback from.

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Sports Illustrated

@SInow

The Colts have fired head coach Frank Reich, according to Adam Schefter

As an Actual Famous Person with nearly 43M followers, I’m predicting to all my peeps that

@elonmusk

will post an Anthony Weiner styled selfie before Thanksgiving.

Sixth grade humor is not now funny. How do I know this? See: twitter.com/elonmusk/statu

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I am an Actual Famous Lawyer with 42.8M (it keeps increasing) and

and/or

and/or

and/or

has the comedy sense of an angry dung beetle. (Pick which one):

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BREAKING: @KathyGriffin has been permanently suspended from Twitter for impersonating @ElonMusk

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As an Actual Famous Person with 42.7M followers, I cannot be suspended. So take that

This is something us world famous tort lawyers with 42.7M followers call a Design Defect.

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A smile hammock.

Suspend this

The rowboat.

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Jon Cooper

@joncoopertweets

Nov 6, 2022

Donald Trump and Ron DeSantis are in a rowboat that’s sinking in the middle of a lake. You can only save one of them — who would you choose?

Wow.

This is the free speech we needed here. P.S. This is not who it appears to be. twitter.com/ChrisWarcraft/

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Nov 4, 2022

Consider yourself smarter than a billionaire if you recognize how messed up his statement is.

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Mr. Tweet

@elonmusk

Nov 4, 2022

Twitter has had a massive drop in revenue, due to activist groups pressuring advertisers, even though nothing has changed with content moderation and we did everything we could to appease the activists. Extremely messed up! They’re trying to destroy free speech in America.

United States government official

Nov 4, 2022

The DEMs are targeting concert ticket processing fees. Hells yea, this is a platform we can rally around! We’re gonna win this thing now. Narrator: The Democrats we’re destroyed in the midterms.

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President Biden

@POTUS

Nov 3, 2022

I know hidden junk fees – like processing fees on concert tickets – are a pain. They’re unfair, deceptive, and add up. That’s why, last week, I called on my Administration to crack down on these fees and put that money back in your pocket.

Oct 19, 2022

Her phone never rang.

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Jenny Erikson

@JennyErikson

Oct 18, 2022

Our pediatrician is no longer taking calls - only texts. I asked if masks were still required. It’s on us, parents.

Oct 19, 2022

Waitress’ sweatshirt at Waffle House this morning: “Sorry I’m late, I wanted to cum.”

Oct 19, 2022

My younger OC didn’t completely understand a procedural issue today and asked me about it. I explained what he needed to do and even wrote out a short example for him. It didn’t hurt my case. This was done for me a few times. Just paying it back.

Oct 11, 2022

As a litigation attorney I am super easy. Need extra time? No problem. Need that in Word? Headed your way. Late to a hearing? I’ll wait. Forgot to notice a reporter? Let’s reschedule. But cross me in a cute way to advantage your case? Rue the day MF. RUE THE FUCKING DAY!

Loretta Lynn - Coal Miner's Daughter

Oct 4, 2022

Loretta Lynn, a coal miner's daughter, has died.

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