Adam Amin

@adamamin

drifter

⭒⭒⭒⭒podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ext…Joined December 2008

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Adam Amin

@adamamin

Nov 18, 2022

I just felt nostalgic and wanted to say the thing about this thing like many others have. Cheers.

My gut says it will probably still be here. Or it will return after leaving. And all the fanfare will feel unnecessary. I stepped back awhile ago and it was the right thing for me. But I don’t come to that conclusion without seeing why this had value in the first place.

So for that, this place was good. For me, that is when it was at its best and most valuable and most special.

…because there was a whole congregation of people who reached out or sympathized or comforted or joked or assured or assuaged me, it made processing trauma easier.

Because when the 2018 thing happened, and I talked about it here, the lonely feeling faded fast. My sadness never went away. But the feelings of isolation did. And I processed things way faster than I did in ‘01. And obviously, age 14 vs. 31 is a significant difference. But…

But it really messed me up. And I wonder if I had a community like this one, that allowed me to vent and see other people match my vulnerability, and make it feel less alone…would I have felt better and maybe not taken out those frustrations on myself the way I did for so long?

So when the 2001 thing happened, I felt so very, very alone. Because I felt no one could possibly understand how I was feeling. Which is obviously not true! But that’s just how I felt at age 14 and I wasn’t going to seek out and burden a community of people to try and feel better

Over time and with the benefit of regularly going to therapy, I came to realize how those two tentpole moments essentially created the framework to how I view, perceive, and judge the value of every event in my life. Those two moments have colored my view on just about all things

The two worst days of my life involved members of my family being taken from me. One was temporary, in 2001. The other was permanent, in 2018. Both events have had lasting effects, on me and others, at different degrees for different reasons.

If this is it, thanks for the connections over the years

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