Tweets
- Tweets, current page.
- Tweets & replies
- Media
You blocked @acreature
Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @acreature
-
Pinned Tweet
If your crow boss fires you, you are terminated with caws.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Starting to suspect that the foundation of a happy life is not “maintaining multiple daily app streaks”.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Bullet points for my Valentine.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Nothing says “I’m hyped to talk to a customer service agent” like saxophone-forward Euro-House.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a spoon: also a problem.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Free startup idea: an ebook reader with New Book Smell.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Hiding the price of a consumer service until you sign up/finish the trial/etc should be punished by stiff fines. Indeterminate ones.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Ground almonds exist. Roasted almonds & almond milk cover fire & water. But the air almond remains unknown to modern alchemists.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
I don’t mean to sound like a thought leader here, I just want to stop doing things.
Show this threadThanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Your “ability to execute” shouldn’t just be about being able to turn plans into action – to deliver – but also killing projects completely. No “pausing”, no “deprioritising”. Declare them unambiguously over.
Show this threadThanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
I rode back to my flat alone in a pitch black lift - aside from the dim red glow of the floor indicator.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
You probably did an annual review recently? Listed the last year’s achievements, your boss told you your strengths? That’s ¾ of a CV update. Copy-paste the report into your CV for a head start the next time you update it.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
I’m certain I bought some ribbon at Christmas, but can’t find it. I keep forlornly opening the drawer where it should live, in the vain hope it teleported back since my last check.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
If your company gives you professional development days: throw your own bespoke conference. Build a YouTube playlist of tech talks, & watch them. (Ask your peers for recommended talks too.)
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Wandering my house wearing nothing but a T shirt, like a middle-aged Winnie the Pooh.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Being a streamer DJ is just like being a regular DJ, except you have to say “OMG CrabBurglar, thanks for the follow!” every 30 seconds.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Demonstrated a severe lack of forward planning by moisturising my hands just before I needed to open a jar of pickles.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Good to know, but they’re carrion feeders; not renowned for being picky eaters.pic.twitter.com/4IK0aQVdAo
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
If you can’t unwrap the chocolate, you don’t deserve the chocolate.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
It’s great that you can juggle chainsaws, but ask yourself: was this supposed to be a circus?
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
I upgraded to a 4K monitor & passed my old 1440p one to my partner. In turn, she’ll pass her 1080p one to someone else. We are pixel density hermit crabs.
Thanks. Twitter will use this info to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.