I literally just got kicked out of Morbius for laughing too much
Anthony Carboni
@acarboni
Excitable host of We Have Concerns and It’s Too Early. prev Emmy-winning Show for , ,
Anthony Carboni’s posts
Listen, we all agree: she made it to 100. We’re not taking that away from her. SHE DIED AT 100
Me: *watches a single YouTube tutorial so I can fix my door hinge*
YouTube: WHAT'S UP, HINGE-LOVER? HERE ARE THE TOP 1000 VIDEOS FROM THE HINGER COMMUNITY THIS WEEK. CHECK OUT THIS TRENDING HINGE CONTENT FROM ENGAGING HINGEFLUENCERS
I think my main criticism of adulthood is there are no surprise Scholastic Book Fairs. Nothing brightens a day like a surprise book fair.
"Ser Brienne of Tarth- Super awesome knight. Probably the best. Beat up a wizard, had 40 boyfriends. Everyone loved her. They were all just, like, 'damn.'"
If they call it the Switch Pro and not the Super Nintendo Switch, I will throw myself into the sea.
“Our data shows that people boycotting us for mistreating our employees don’t know everything we make, so we can potentially trick them”
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Replying to @_NevadaMan
Our data show that consumers routinely focus on the visual of the Pop-Tarts brand name, so we simplified the package design by removing "Kellogg's".
We’re like a month away from Fellowship of the Ring being 20 years old and I’m just checking in to see how we’re all collectively feeling about that
Shout out to for using his post-win interview to bag on those garbage Apple keyboards. He continues to be a hero of the people.
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This is a poster for 1950s children. Maybe we could all look at it now, though?
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You’re a scientist, you understand false equivalency, yeah? How many of those things you listed are done with purposeful, malicious intent? Quit being Edgelord, Ph.D on Twitter.
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A little over 30 minutes. I was really enjoying it! I think I was just enjoying it differently than everyone else.
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Replying to @acarboni
How far into it are we talkin here?
Liquid Television, the show that influenced all Cartoon Network and Adult Swim, gave us Beavis and Butthead and Aeon Flux, and basically changed my life, is now available in it's entirety on the Internet Archive. archive.org/details/Liquid
Oh my god the replies to this. I can't believe it worked. twitter.com/ScottAukerman/
Hi! Lifelong sufferer of depression and anxiety here reminding you: not eating, hydrating, or moving around will exacerbate your symptoms. Even if you don’t feel like it, have a snack, drink some water, and walk around the house a little. It’ll help. ♥️
My favorite thing about Justice League: there's a montage to show us how dark and terrible the world is without Superman, and one of the shots is just this guy kicking over peaches like "THERE IS NO ONE TO STOP ME FROM THESE DARK DEEDS! WHERE IS YOUR PRODUCE SAVIOR NOW"
SERIAL KILLER RETURNS LIBRARY BOOKS ON TIME
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Suspected teen gunman Kyle Rittenhouse spotted cleaning Kenosha graffiti before shooting trib.al/IWtEFfh
just checked into my room for PAX East. this hotel tried to be cool so badly it overshot and went straight to “confusing parody of a cool hotel”
1998: Wanna watch the movie we rented from Blockbuster?
2008: Wanna watch a movie on Netflix?
2018: Wanna scroll through thumbnails on Netflix for two hours?
Hi. I’m not gonna tell you to look away from this, you shouldn’t. I WILL say: make sure you’re checking actual news and information sources, and not just scrolling and retweeting Twitter. Be informed, not reactive. You’ll feel less adrift and anxious.
Chrysalis. This is when she’ll form her exoskeleton for the next phase
YES. A BIG DEAL IN THE RESISTANCE ♥️
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“We are a physical representation of our support for George Floyd...for Sandra Bland...for Trayvon Martin... for Stephen Lawrence... I don’t know if I’m going to have a career after this, but f*** that” - John Boyega at London’s #BlackLivesMattter march
metro.co.uk/2020/06/03/joh
please sign my petition to remake all four years of my high school experience exactly the way i thought it should happen
The Truman Show. Keep Jim Carrey.
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Pick a movie.
Keep one actor.
The rest are played by muppets.
*me, my entire life*
Man, if I just had two weeks where I didn’t have to do ANYTHING, I bet I could get my whole life together.
*me, after 2020*
haha nope I was wrong
Yo did someone just break up with Neil deGrasse Tysom
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Unlike our mobility though space, time locks us in the present, as prisoners, eternally trapped between our past & our future
For six months in the year 2000, I was a game tech/dressed as a rat at Chuck E. Cheese. Drunk parents would constantly tell their kids to punch me when I was in the rat suit. I was punched by so many kids. Pizza was also bad. 2/5 glad to see them go
This is now the only official Star Wars content. I deleted all the rest of it off the server. Apologies and you’re welcome. t.co/ClwEhqixpb
This post is unavailable.
A gift from my mother-in-law: "I don't know what it means but you always seem to be saying it. It's like your national motto."
All the character beats happening on #GameOfThrones were definitely ones we saw coming, they're just happening so quickly and strangely in this truncated season. I watched this week feeling like I must've missed an episode. Like "this makes sense EVENTUALLY, but not just yet."
Real talk: Andrew Garfield is to Spider-Man what Timothy Dalton is to James Bond. He was perfect and he wasn’t given strong material. If this multi-Spidey, Sinister Six thing is happening, I will be very excited to see him take on the role again.
Guys, get over here. We’re recommending anime to Jim Belushi.
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Any anime fans out there? I always loved Studio Ghibli after I worked with them - however I don’t know much else.
But, I just saw “Your Name” and it blew me away. What is out there? C’mon, some of you guys have to be nerds. Fess up!
Sometimes I put down my iPad and pick up my iPhone and expect there to be different, more interesting internet on it.
This Fall, don't miss "White Guys Lazily Wearing Dress Clothes" coming to literally every single network forever
My friend is trying to catch his wife up before Infinity War. She's never seen a Marvel movie.
Currently the dog on the right makes 300 times more than the dog on the left and is impervious to rule of law.
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I guess the police must’ve used up all the tear gas on BLM protestors walking by a Starbucks.
People sitting in a room applauding a credit card is exactly a shot from the opening montage of a dystopian sci-fi flick. Congrats on giving me full body shivers, Apple event.
Replying to
Everyone who responds to this with “but she was 99” is cool and fun and gets things
Okay, I’ll do the thing. Here’s me at 20 vs me now. ENJOY, JACKALS
Ah man, you got tested? That just brings the numbers up. We’ll never get rid of it if you get tested.
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Tonight, @FLOTUS and I tested positive for COVID-19. We will begin our quarantine and recovery process immediately. We will get through this TOGETHER!
Bunch of 50 year olds making a chart based on what they remember everything costing when they were 25.
I flinch whenever I hear EDM in public because I'm afraid a YouTuber is gonna jump out at me and unbox a cell phone
Shout out to giant media corporations and their vested interests in pushing a “both sides” narrative that gave legitimacy to insane narratives for causing an attempted coup in the United States in the year of our lord 2021
This is the condition of 's feet. I said I'd massage them. I guess it's happening twitch.tv/gamegrumps
OMG Oscar Isaac is getting through the quarantine by wearing one of the matching "J & O forever" shirts we gave him and #StarWarsShow
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For those not putting it together: this means that Black people that end their work day at 5 or 6 PM are automatically out after curfew and can be “reasonably” hassled by police.
If you liked The Suicide Squad but you didn’t like Birds of Prey, then whoops yes you did, you liked Birds of Prey.
One time a trainer asked me "what do you want more, your dream body or ice cream?" I answered "Oh, ice cream, without a doubt."
He paused for a second and went "Well... I guess we'll have to work with that."
Remove all gaming journalists who are bad at games. Remove all sports journalists who cannot dunk. Remove all finance journalists who aren't millionaires. Remove all tech reporters who aren't engineers. Remove everyone from everything. No one discuss anything.
LAPD sent 100 cops in riot gear to respond to four climate scientists protesting outside a Chase bank. But they’re underfunded 🙃
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LAPD MAKING ARRESTS.
Literally four climate protestors and this is the response. FUCK LAPD
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All right, people, let’s do this one last time. instagram.com/p/B4G9mNyHoTc/
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Once Tom Nook receives enough real money, he'll finally be able to leave his digital prison and become the dark master of our reality.
I'll never forgive any of you for sleeping on the Henry Cavill/Armie Hammer "Man From U.N.C.L.E."
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So there’s this book called Lost Stars
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You’ve been given the green light to make your own STAR WARS movie!
There’s just one rule: IT CAN’T BE AN ACTION MOVIE OF ANY KIND.
No dogfights, no lightsaber duels, no high-octane heists, etc.
Comedy, drama, romance, horror, everything else is an option.
What’s your pitch?
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But like… Train to Busan is a four year old movie. You can watch it right now. On like multiple streaming services. It’s right there. It is both available and good right now.
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The English-language ‘TRAIN TO BUSAN’ remake is reportedly titled ‘LAST TRAIN TO NEW YORK’.
(Source: Deadline)
"Why aren't young poor people old rich racists?"
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I pay like $75/month for streaming services just to watch Everything Everywhere All At Once and RRR on repeat.
A lot of fake Moon Knight panels get shared around ("I know you're here, Dracula") and they're great, but I just wanted to remind y'all: Moon Knight is wild enough as is.
A couple cops pushed over an old man and got suspended for it. 57 other cops are basically taking paid leave from work because they think it's wrong to discipline people for pushing over old men. Does... does everyone get why we're asking for defunding and sweeping police reform?
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Fifty-seven police officers in Buffalo, New York, have resigned from the force's emergency response team following the suspension of two officers who allegedly pushed a 75-year-old man to the ground during a protest, a source says cnn.it/2UchL2c
Replying to
Imran I’ve never been kicked out of anywhere in my life and I just left giggling like “no, I get it. No, we’re good. I’m coming”
Loki is the best season of Doctor Who we’ve gotten in a long time.
There's video of me from high school getting shoved into a police car, loudly slurring "You can't arrest me for being SOBER, DUMMY," and it has the exact same energy
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I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT PHONE CALL!
The only superhero/vampire interaction I want to see on the big screen
Hey, let’s agree on something: April Fool’s Day is cancelled. Fuck that online trash this year. I cannot deal with smirking, disingenuous internet brands tomorrow. Let’s just... not.
"iPhone X is locked until you look at it and it recognizes you. Not for who you claim to be, but for the monster you truly are" #AppleEvent
hi yes we gave hayden christensen a t-shirt cannon. anakin can cannon its canon
Stood up from the toilet in a public restroom and somehow got my earbud cable caught on my penis. Smash that like button
Did you hear the other news? I'll be evicted from my apartment after spending all my money on Leaf Tickets in late December.
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Did you hear the news? Animal Crossing: Pocket Camp will be released on iOS and Android in late November. #PocketCamp
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Here's a list of Florida Blood Banks. If you live in FL, especially Central Florida, please donate today: blood-banks.regionaldirectory.us/florida.htm
Just saw The Last Jedi again and during THAT silent part some asshole's phone quacked like a duck. He didn't silence it afterward. It went off again. HOW HARD IS IT TO JUST BE COOL DURING A MOVIE?
My seat in the theater was a little farther back than I’d have liked.
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MY PERFECT CHILDREN. MY LITTLE MATHLETES. MY HONOR ROLL ACHIEVERS.
My dude here is SO CLOSE to a huge realization... Come on, buddy, draw a parallel, you can do it.
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WATCH
New York police boss Mike O'Meara went off on the media today:
"Stop treating us like animals and thugs and start treating us with some respect ... Our legislators abandoned us. The press is vilifying us. It's disgusting."
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*steps up to podium*
*taps microphone*
*inhales, leans forward*
Babu Frik.
Hello. It is the time of year when we watch Over The Garden Wall again. We made it.
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