Absurdistwords

The failure to understand this basic principle -- that you cannot advocate in good faith for those you see as beneath you -- is why white liberals frequently find themselves staring down the rage of those they thought they were advocating for.

When we do not understand the people we advocate for, this leads us to ineffective and even harmful or traumatic advocacy. We are inclined to accept false stereotypes and damaging narratives about those we are claiming to uplift.

If we are not engaging in good faith and mutual respect with people we seek to assist, how can we ever really respect, effectively amplify or even know what they actually need?

H/t to all the advocates who think poor people just need help learning how to save money That homeless people just need to learn the value of work That Black people just need help learning how to get past their victimhood

It is the height of arrogance when we look at people, decide for ourselves what they need, how they need it and then get all up in our feels when our "assistance" isn't appreciated

And yet we are confused when we are not welcomed with open arms by those "poor, unfortunate souls" that we just finished taking congratulatory selfies with to show how awesome we are

Easy way to check yourself for Savior Mode Advocacy Ask. "Do I believe this person/ these people have inherent value they can add to my life, or do I believe that they are the only beneficiary of our interactions?"

Savior Mode Advocacy says: "I care about you enough to take up what I think is your cause but not enough to learn your name or favorite color. I reserve that for real people"

Whoever it is you think you're helping... They're a whole complex human with a story and dreams and fears and challenges and victories and preferences and favorites and traumas and ethical moments and unethical moments. Just like we do. They're not a caricature of a person.

We rightfully bristle when some stranger who doesn't know us or our situation jumps in to offer unsolicited advice or critique about a concern or conflict we are dealing with. We see that as a boundary violation. They have not earned our trust or been asked for help.

Ever have someone ask you how you are or what you want and have someone jump in to answer for you? It's obnoxious when they're right. Doubly so when they're wrong.

This is who we become when we engage in Savior Mode Advocacy. We speak over people instead of supporting their voices. We substitute our perception of them and their needs for their actual self-reports